She Let Go....

She Let Go

She let go. Without a thought or a word, she let go.
She let go of fear. She let go of the judgments. 
She let go of the confluence of opinions swarming around her head.
She let go of the committee of indecision within her.
She let go of all the ‘right’ reasons. Wholly and completely, 
without hesitation or worry, she just let go.
She didn’t ask anyone for advice. She didn’t read a 
book on how to let go… She didn’t search the scriptures.
She just let go.
She let go of all of the memories that held her back. 
She let go of all of the anxiety that kept her from moving forward. 
She let go of the planning and all of the calculations about how to do it just right.
She didn’t promise to let go. 
She didn’t journal about it. 
She didn’t write the projected date in her day-timer.
She made no public announcement and put no ad in the paper. 
She didn’t check the weather report or read her daily horoscope. 
She just let go.
She didn’t analyse whether she should let go. 
She didn’t call her friends to discuss the matter. 
She didn’t do a five-step Spiritual Mind Treatment. 
She didn’t call the prayer line. 
She didn’t utter one word. She just let go.
No one was around when it happened. 
There was no applause or congratulations. 
No one thanked her or praised her. 
No one noticed a thing. 
Like a leaf falling from a tree, she just let go.
There was no effort. There was no struggle. 
It wasn’t good and it wasn’t bad. 
It was what it was, and it is just that.
In the space of letting go, she let it all be. 
A small smile came over her face. 
A light breeze blew through her.
And the sun and the moon shone forevermore.

- Rev. Safire Rose

Dinner For Two....

I know I haven't written in a while... It is time to get back to it. I have decided to change it up a bit and write some short stories, as well. I wanted to share one with you, feel free to let me know what you think.

Dinner for two

It didn’t take me long to find the perfect spot on the beach.  I drop the heavy bags on the warm sun baked sand.  I take my blanket out of my bag first and set it down carefully.  I love this time of day, still warm from high noon, yet cooling off a bit now that it is 2:00 p.m.  As I stand still taking in the warm breeze and smell of the ocean air, I hear laughter of children all around me and lazy chatter from the adults.  This beach is “our” beach.  We come every summer, spending long days splashing in the waves, reading on the blanket, taking walks to the rocks, eating breakfasts, lunches and even dinners here.  It is a magical place for us, or, I should say, WAS a magical place for us.

Those around me, laughing, reading, listening to music have no idea of the enormous pain I am feeling.  The sun is high in the sky over head.   I turn my eyes up to take in some rays, hoping the warmth will sink into my body and dry up the tears that are falling from my eyes. Though people are everywhere, I still feel all alone.

I put the umbrella up over my blanket for some shade and sit down underneath.  As I sit, a ball rolls toward me, I look up, smiling at the small child that runs over to get it, with his mother not too far behind.  I reach out and hand the ball to the child, he smiles and his mother says, “Thank you” in a kind and breathy voice.  I am thankful for the distraction at this point, anything to take my mind off of him would be nice.

I reach in my cooler for a drink of much needed water, I didn’t realize how parched my throat is.  After taking a few big gulps I lay my head down onto the blanket.  As I lay there, I guess I didn’t realize how tired I am.  I fall fast asleep.  When I wake up the beach is pretty empty and the sun is starting to lower in the sky.  It must be around 5:00 p.m.  I slept for a much needed 3 hours.  Though, I didn’t want to wake up, I was having the most wonderful dream of him.  

It was as if he were here with me.  We sat close laughing and digging and singing along to the music.  He got up and ran to the ocean calling me to follow him.  I got up too, running behind him watching him as he got close to the oceans edge and then he turned to me to make sure I wasn’t too far behind and jumped right into the waves.  I called to him to be careful, he just laughed and splashed in the waves.  He was my golden haired love, the only person in this world that ever truly mattered.  I got up close to him and dived into the waves and splashed him as I descended underwater.  I grabbed him on his tan legs under the water and he screamed in delight.  

I wish I had never woke up.  I wish I could dream forever.  I sit up, stretching my arms overhead.  This is where he would want me to be.  Still, I can’t believe it has already been a year.  A year that I last saw him, a year that I last touched his soft face and felt his warm but weak embrace.  He would want me to be at our favorite place today.  His last days were spent inside, but was able to look out the windows at the warm summer afternoons.  His illness made him too weak to make it outdoors.   Even though he could not be on the beach, I had brought the beach to him in a bottle with some sand, and ocean water.

My nickname for him was Finn, he was like a little dolphin.  Happy swimming in the waves.  Sometimes it was hard getting him out of the water.  For a long time, I thought he was part fish.  But I knew fish didn’t run in my family, or his father’s family.  He was 100% my part fish part perfect child.

I stand up, walk down to the ocean feeling the cold salt water run over my toes and feet and it feels like heaven.  The water is the perfect temperature for Finn to swim and play in.  I stand looking out on the ocean, the endless carpet of water, with no ending to it in sight.  Finn used to say, “Mommy?  Someday can we sail across the ocean together and see where it takes us?”  And I remember always saying, “Yes, Finny.  We can do that one day when you are older and you can sail the boat for us.”  Never ever dreaming that day would never come.

Tearfully, I turn around and walk back up to my perfect spot on the beach.  Looking up through my tears I notice something in the distance sitting near my spot.  A dog.  I wipe away my tears  thinking, what is a dog doing on the beach?  I look around wondering where the owner may be.  It doesn’t look like the few people still on the beach owns  this dog.  I walk up slowly not knowing if the dog is vicious.  As I get closer the dog sits up on his front paws wagging his tail behind him.  I realize he must be friendly but I am still cautious.  I put my hand out for him to smell it, he stands up and walks over to me, tail wagging, panting, kind of looks like he’s smiling.  He licks my hand and playfully jumps up on me.  I pat him and ask him where his owners are, of course, he doesn’t answer me back.

I sit down on the blanket, take out a plastic bag and pour some water into it to give the dog a drink.  He laps it up like he has never tasted water so good.  He must be hungry, so I open up my cooler and give him half of my sandwich, as I take a bite of the other half.  He lies down next to me.  I’m thankful for his company.  In the distance I see a man and hear him calling out, “Finn, Finn.  Come here Finn.”  The dogs ears perk up, I see the familiar look in his eyes as he sees his owner and hears him call to him.  Finn runs to his owner.  The owner walks over to me and apologizes, telling me Finn sometimes gets off of his runner in the backyard and takes off to the beach, since this is his favorite place on earth.  I smile up at him and let him know Finn was quite the gentleman pup and that I was grateful for the companionship even just for dinner.

You be the Judge...

The way you judge others tells a lot about the person you are.  Have you ever thought about what you say to, or about someone else?  I have and sometimes I stop myself from being overly critical, as I realize, "Who am I to judge?!"

I have always believed that I was quite open minded, Non-judgmental, and understanding towards others.  I believe in giving people the benefit of the doubt, but also not be a fool.

I have come to believe people take my kindness for weakness, my thoughtfulness for vulnerability, and my courtesy for ignorance.

Viewing the world with new glasses everyday is the way I like to see this life.  I do not choose to be a skeptic or cynical.  Life is about learning something new each day.  I choose to embrace that and keep myself open to learning and understanding others as well as things.

Today, I challenge you to be open.  Look with new glasses.  See beyond what is in front of you and take in the whole picture around you.  Today, I ask that you notice your surroundings and appreciate everything.  Instead of seeing with a critical eye what you do not like, notice what you do like and accept whatever else that may not be pleasing to you.

I'm back!  I'm ready to write again... Don't judge me for the things I have not done, but the many things that I intend to do.

Have a wonderful Tuesday!

"Much ado about nothing...."

I haven't written in a very long time.  I guess my priority was not on writing, but more on working...  Not sure if that is a good thing, or a bad thing, or just nothing at all...  Whatever the case, I am back at it.

I bet you are wondering what's up with that Cheerios picture.  Well, with all this controversy about the new ad I thought I'd weigh in too.  after all, I have a big mouth and I love stating MY opinions.  Wink Wink.

Cheerios!!!  How could you do this?  How could  you advertise using a biracial family?  After all, families are only one race!

I don't get what the uproar is all about?  Aren't we all multi-racial/cultural?  Don't you ever talk to your friend who will proclaim that she is Swedish, Irish and Scottish?  Or your other friend will say he is Italian, Irish and Portuguese?  Or how about that Asian family down the street who you think is just "Asian", after all Asia is just one Country, right?   Or what about that beautiful African-American woman you saw on the Voice - wait, WHAT?!?!  Her father is African-American, but her mother is an Asian woman?  Wait, that doesn't happen here in America!!!!  Right?

HELLO EVERYONE THAT LIVES IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA AND AROUND THE GLOBE:  We are all mixed up, I mean mixed race!  Is there such a thing as a "pure race" anymore?  HA!  In my humble opinion, I would have to say a big resounding NO!  Wait, let me take that back.  You may be able to find some indigenous people in the Jungles of Africa, or in the Rainforests of the Amazon, that may have pure-ish genes, who knows?  But, I think it is rare.

I love how when commercials or pictures or whatever are televised or advertised on billboards, there is an uproar of people sounding off negatively.  Do you think it is the majority or minority?  I would have to say the minority, since we are all of multi-cultures and races.

I have been reading what a lot of people are saying both negatively and positively and thankfully we have the right of Freedom of Speech where we are able to say what is on our minds.  I love what this brings forth...  DISCUSSIONS!!!

I love reading about the people who "hate when people ask me what nationality or race I am."  I think a lot of us get that question.  Right?  I mean, I can't count how many times people ask me, "what are you?"  I used to be annoyed by that question and give people a flippant answer, "I'm American".  But then I realized, they are asking because they are curious about me, about my culture, about where I came from and who I am.  I have embraced that.  Love it, actually, because I know I am a little bit different than their norm.  I, to them, am the face of diversity.  Why wouldn't I love that?  I rather someone ask me, then just assume I am Chinese, because, quite honestly, that is what most people just say.  Well, no I am not Chinese, and well, no I do not know Karate, and well, NO, I don't speak another language, though, I wish I did.

I love being "different".  My family is quite multi-cultural, and I absolutely love being part of it.  I love to now look back on my childhood and remember the confused stares that we had received by passers-by.  I truly appreciate now why people were so baffled.  I love the story my dad tells me of when I was just a tiny baby and he and my family were vacationing at the beach, and one morning he was walking me in my carriage on the beach when a few kids came over talking to my dad asking if I would have a hard time learning English.  It was those silly questions now that I laugh about how ignorant people can be, but how innocent that question truly was.

We are curious. And without being curious we wouldn't have all the luxuries and wonderful things in our lives as we do.  We want to learn and understand.  There are those few minority people that don't want to learn, that don't care to know who you are and where you came from.  So we should embrace those that are curious, that do want to know how you got that dark skin tone, or those blue eyes, or long curly hair when you should have straight "Asian" hair.

Thank you Cheerios for starting another great discussion, as of course, there will be many more controversial ads, commercials, news reports, etc.  But for now, just embrace the fact that these discussions are what keep our curiosity going.  That keep us being who we are most, which is HUMAN.

And to those friends who are asked every day, "What are you?"  Don't be upset or angry about it, be happy someone is that interested in knowing who you are!

February is Heart Health Month

What steps are you taking to keep your heart healthy?

There are so many ways to keep your heart healthy.  Here are just a few easy steps for a healthier heart and a healthier YOU!

Eat your way to a Healthy Heart 

Cut down on your salt intake: People today are consuming sodium in high amounts.  According to the CDC we are eating 3,400 mg of sodium a DAY!  Most of us should really only be having 1,500 mg of sodium in a day.  If you eat too much of it, you are at risk of high blood pressure and it is a major contributor to heart disease and strokes.  So put down that salt shaker and use other tasteful choices such as, cilantro, pepper, garlic powder (not garlic salt), fresh squeezed lemon, etc.

More Fruits and veggies: Haven't you heard that saying, an apple a day keeps the doctor away?!?  Of course you have! Eating fruits and vegetables gives you the nutrients and fiber your body needs.

A little bit of Exercise goes a long way

A body in motion: Keep that body moving!  Your heart needs exercise to keep it healthy.  30 minutes a day of some type of sweat promoting exercise does a heart good!  If you can't commit to a 30 minute workout schedule a day, break it up into 10 minute intervals.  Walk briskly for 10 minutes in the morning, 10 minutes before or after lunch, and then again 10 more minutes before or after dinner.   Be realistic about your exercise times.  Start off slow and work your way up.  Remember, you have legs, use them!

Pump some iron: Work those muscles! Your most important muscle is your heart, to keep it strong a little weight training goes a long way.

Try interval training: Little bursts of intensity to moderate exercises can be a great way to rein in your cholesterol and also help slow your heart rate, which is a sign of cardiac health!

Emotions can be hazardous for your health

Smile: Don't worry, be happy!  Did you know negative emotions can raise your blood pressure?  Depression is also a factor in heart health.  People who are depressed are four times more likely to have a heart attack.  Emotional stress causes physical stress.  Haven't you seen those commercials of depressed people also having physical pain?   There is a powerful connection between mind and body.  Here are a few helpful suggestions to stay happy and less stressed: Exercise (30 minutes a day goes a long way), Breathe (take deep breaths a few times a day while at work or even at home),  Meditation, You time, and whatever else makes YOU happy!

Treat your heart with care and love this month and the months to follow.

Another New Year

As the year ends, another begins
Without remorse or regret
Without love or hate
Without care or worry
This year ends, another begins

As the year ends, another begins
Knowing anything is possible
Knowing each day is a new beginning
Knowing that the sun will rise and set
This year ends, another begins

As the year ends, another begins
Earth rotating
Moon hovering
Sun shining
Stars aligning

Calendars are for humans
Time shall not be wasted
Life begins, Life ends, Life goes on
As this year ends, another will soon begin.

Loving...

Do you think your heart is open or closed?

I would like to believe that I have always been an open book when it came to my feelings of love.  I wear my heart on my sleeve, as "they" say.  I'm not afraid to love openly and unconditionally.  What's there to be afraid of?  It is the easiest feeling to feel.

Love is such a simple and honest feeling.  There is no doubt in my mind that everyone has loved once in their life.  There are so many different ways to love or be loved.

I was sitting the other night thinking about a question I was asked once when my daughter was younger and I was pregnant with my second child.  She asked me, "Mom, will you love the new baby more than me?"  I didn't even hesitate to answer... "Of course not!"  I was taken back with such a question from my then, 11 year old.   My first thought was, how could I love anyone more than her?!  She is my first child.  The love of my life.  I love her more than I love myself.  But then I thought about it and told her, "I will never love my next child more than you.  My love for him (because I knew he was going to be a boy) will be different, neither more or less, just different."   She said, "But I will always be your favorite."  She always knew how to get her point across.

Now, almost 5 years later I still feel the same, my love for my 2 children are neither more or less than the other, just different.  My children are so different from each other, they bring so much love and joy to my life, as well as pain, and sometimes heartbreak.  But that is what being a parent is all about.  Worry and unconditional love.

When loving a mate, that is whole other kind of love.  You obviously don't feel the same love for your children as you do for your significant other.  Love is exciting, and passionate, and fulfilling with your mate.  Love is endless and strong.  Love can also be overwhelming and confusing.  But that's the beauty of loving someone that way.

You will never love anyone the same as you love someone else.  You love people for different reasons.

My heart and the feelings of love leads me most of the time.  I'm not sure if that is a good thing or a bad thing.  Either way, it has helped me to be the person I am today.  The parent I am today.  The wife I am today.  The friend I am today.

Love is incredible.  It is resilient.  It is strong and powerful.  It can take control of your mind and your body.  It can heal you.  Loving someone can be the best thing you can do.  Love doesn't show you consequences, but promise.

Be open to it.  Let it in without judgments or second thoughts.

So getting back to my question at the beginning, Do you think your heart is open or closed?  If you believe your heart is closed, what would you be willing to do today to open it, just a little?  What actions have you taken based on following your heart, (if any)?