Another New Year

As the year ends, another begins
Without remorse or regret
Without love or hate
Without care or worry
This year ends, another begins

As the year ends, another begins
Knowing anything is possible
Knowing each day is a new beginning
Knowing that the sun will rise and set
This year ends, another begins

As the year ends, another begins
Earth rotating
Moon hovering
Sun shining
Stars aligning

Calendars are for humans
Time shall not be wasted
Life begins, Life ends, Life goes on
As this year ends, another will soon begin.

Loving...

Do you think your heart is open or closed?

I would like to believe that I have always been an open book when it came to my feelings of love.  I wear my heart on my sleeve, as "they" say.  I'm not afraid to love openly and unconditionally.  What's there to be afraid of?  It is the easiest feeling to feel.

Love is such a simple and honest feeling.  There is no doubt in my mind that everyone has loved once in their life.  There are so many different ways to love or be loved.

I was sitting the other night thinking about a question I was asked once when my daughter was younger and I was pregnant with my second child.  She asked me, "Mom, will you love the new baby more than me?"  I didn't even hesitate to answer... "Of course not!"  I was taken back with such a question from my then, 11 year old.   My first thought was, how could I love anyone more than her?!  She is my first child.  The love of my life.  I love her more than I love myself.  But then I thought about it and told her, "I will never love my next child more than you.  My love for him (because I knew he was going to be a boy) will be different, neither more or less, just different."   She said, "But I will always be your favorite."  She always knew how to get her point across.

Now, almost 5 years later I still feel the same, my love for my 2 children are neither more or less than the other, just different.  My children are so different from each other, they bring so much love and joy to my life, as well as pain, and sometimes heartbreak.  But that is what being a parent is all about.  Worry and unconditional love.

When loving a mate, that is whole other kind of love.  You obviously don't feel the same love for your children as you do for your significant other.  Love is exciting, and passionate, and fulfilling with your mate.  Love is endless and strong.  Love can also be overwhelming and confusing.  But that's the beauty of loving someone that way.

You will never love anyone the same as you love someone else.  You love people for different reasons.

My heart and the feelings of love leads me most of the time.  I'm not sure if that is a good thing or a bad thing.  Either way, it has helped me to be the person I am today.  The parent I am today.  The wife I am today.  The friend I am today.

Love is incredible.  It is resilient.  It is strong and powerful.  It can take control of your mind and your body.  It can heal you.  Loving someone can be the best thing you can do.  Love doesn't show you consequences, but promise.

Be open to it.  Let it in without judgments or second thoughts.

So getting back to my question at the beginning, Do you think your heart is open or closed?  If you believe your heart is closed, what would you be willing to do today to open it, just a little?  What actions have you taken based on following your heart, (if any)?

Acts of Kindness

Random acts of kindness.

I have been reading more and more about people doing those random acts of kindness, lately.  I just read about a man who on his 65th Birthday wanted to do something really special to mark his milestone Birthday so he decided to do 65 random acts of kindness, one of which was giving out money to people driving by him in cars.  He had a sign that read, "I have a home... and a car... and a job.  Do you need a few bucks for some coffee?"  He eventually handed out more than $375 of his own money.  That, to me is the perfect way to celebrate a Birthday.

Aren't those stories the best to read?  People being generous and helpful.  People that do those things out of the goodness of their hearts.  I want to believe that the majority of people out in the world today are good, decent and caring people, but we are bombarded by the news stories about mass murders, kidnappings, thievery, child molestations, etc.  I'm not saying that we shouldn't know what is going on in the world, but that we are becoming immune to the negative and accepting that those things happen.  I don't want to accept it.  And we shouldn't accept it.

After reading about what happened in Aurora, CO this morning, not only was I devastated, but now even more motivated to want more random acts of kindness to happen.  Is that too much to ask of people?  Well, I don't really think so.

It doesn't have to be your birthday to do random acts of kindness for people.  And you don't have to give away your money to be kind.  There are many ways to make a difference without money.  Donating your kindness is one of the easiest and simplest things you can do to make a difference in your life and others. Here are a few quick and easy ideas you can do to spread kindness around:

• Hold the door open for someone.
• Slow down for another car and let them pass in front of you.
• Acknowledge people (either by saying hello when you step into an elevator, smile at people as they pass, make eye contact, etc.)
• Make someone laugh.
• Let people know they are doing a good job at something (for example: the person that just waited on you at a restaurant, if they did a good job, tell them so.)

Those ideas are just a few of many you could do today and everyday.

What does it take to be a kind person?  Not much, is what I say.  With all the horror and tragedy going on in the world today, isn't it time we make a difference even if it is just being kind to our fellow human beings?  Life is so busy these days that we tend to forget to hold the door open for someone, or allow a car to pass in front of us.  But those little things make a difference in someones life.

Kindness comes from within.  Be kind to others because that will not only put a smile on their face, but yours, as well.

What are some things you can do today to be kind to someone?

Life's little lessons...

What lessons in your life do you live by?

I guess I can say I have learned a lot in my 36 years here on earth, but I know there will be many more lessons to learn as each year passes.  Here are my top 10 lessons that are important to me today:

1. My mother and father were and are always right
2. Always listen to my intuition
3. Never say Never
4. Be open to new things regardless of what those new things may be
5. Kill "them" with kindness - whoever "they" are
6. Realize I am NEVER too old, nor will I ever be too old to make a difference
7. Be a lover, and sometimes a fighter
8. Life really isn't too short, it's how you live it that makes it what it is
9. Dream... Never stop dreaming
and My 10th important lesson today is:  Listen.  Learn to listen to others and to yourself

My daughter and I were talking the other evening.  We had such a great conversation.  It is incredible how much you can learn from someone if you just listen.  In saying that, you can learn a lot from a person no matter how old they are.  Sure us older folk have lived longer, seen a few things in our lives, but we can always learn from others, as they can learn from us.  I realize we sometimes don't give the younger generation the benefit of actually being wise.  We have been taught that wisdom comes with age, but does it really?  Sure, wisdom is gained, but you can also be wise beyond years.  Hey, I guess that is another lesson I have learned.  See, we never do stop learning.

Learning something new everyday is inevitable.  No ONE person in this world knows everything about everything, that is just not possible.  Take the time to learn, to listen, to be open to new things.  You never know what you may find out about yourself and others along the way.

What have you learned today?

Isn't that a good question to think about?

TODAY...

Photo taken by me of My Dad and My Son




So, it is only fitting that today I write about the man who has raised me, loves me, and will always be the first man in my heart... My Father!

When I think of Superhero's my Father always comes to mind.  My Dad WAS "faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive, and able to leap tall buildings in a single bound".  Like Superman, he ran after the bad guys, taught other S.W.A.T and S.O.U. team members how to take down criminals, and  leaped from building to building.  He was truly Superman in my eyes.  Though he is older now, and can't run like he used to, no longer works with the S.W.A.T. and S.O.U. teams, and jumping from building to building is just simply out of the question - he IS still my Superhero.

My Father is the epitome of the perfect Dad.  I'm not trying to brag or anything (okay, yes I am...) my Dad is the BEST!  He worked hard supporting 5 kids, a wife and many different animals (our dog named Samantha, bunnies, fish, snakes, hamsters, turtles, reptiles, you name it, we had it) along the way.  His love for his family, dedication to his career, and his steadfast high morals and values are what made him the most incredible man on this earth.  Not to pat his back or anything (okay, I will definitely pat his back) but, he has been happily married for over 40 years, raised 5 successful and well adjusted children (YES, I am well adjusted and I have my own definition for success) and he is the best Grandfather to his four (soon to be 5) grandchildren, and 4 granddogs.

When I think of my Father I think of Love, I think of Strength and I think of Nurturing.  My father is Tolerant, Non Judgmental, and extremely Accepting.  He has always given us kids good advice, but let us decide to be who we wanted to be and celebrates who we have become today.  He is here as our biggest supporter and loudest cheerleader (along with our Mother, of course).

There seriously is NOTHING I can say bad about my father.  NOTHING.  He is the man I have always looked up to, the type of man I wanted to marry (and have married), and the man who will always hold a special place in my heart.  I am a "Daddy's Girl" and I soooo adore my Dad!!!

Happy Father's Day to the most amazingly incredible man on this great green earth!
Happy Father's Day to all the incredible men out there... Including my Husband!!!  (Darling, Once you have put up with me for 30+ years, I shall write you something like this too... HA!) Love you, Husband!

Important

Photo by Clip Art








What is important to you?

I have been asking myself that a lot lately.  What is important to me.  There are many things important to me right now like, setting up my website, blogging as much as I can, studying and reading.  Wow, everything I just mentioned that was important to me were things that weren't real, that don't have feelings.  Does that make sense?  I wrote that, because at that moment those things were important to me.  But what should be at the top of my list is My family (that includes my friends, as they are my family too).  I wouldn't be here in this place right now if they weren't what inspires and drives me to be my very best.  In saying that, I feel like I have put them on the back burner while I took this time to work hard at my own future dreams.

Remember the professor who did that rock experiment?  You know the one, right?  The one where he lectured on "Efficient Time Management".  I don't know the exact story, but I believe I know most of the story.  He was at the podium and pulled a glass jar from underneath it and then a bag of stones, large stones, like the size of golf balls.  He then proceeded to put the large stones in the glass jar and asked the students if the jar was full, and to his question, they responded simply, Yes.

He then pulled out another bag, this time filled with pebbles, he poured that bag in, which filled in the gaps between the big stones, and then asked the same question, if the jar was full, which the students answered, that they thought so.  To their somewhat surprise, he then pulled out another bag, this one was filled with sand, he poured the bag of sand in, which trickled down and filled in the small gaps between the pebbles.  Again, he asked his question, and they were finally getting the idea and said, NO.  He then pulled out a pitcher of water, that he poured in the jar to fill up the rest of the air pockets.

He stopped there.

His next question to the students was, "What great truth can we surmise from this experiment?"  One student answered something about thinking that even though they thought their schedules were full, there would be more time for studying, classes, and/or meetings.

The professor said, "NO!"  He then asked what the students thought the large stones meant to them and proceeded to tell them that the large stones were what matters most in life such as, Family, Friends, Health, their Goals, Doing what they Love.  The pebbles, sand and water are the little things that just fill up time.  He said, if they fill up the jar with the little things first, then they have no time for what truly matters.  He told them to fill up their "Jar of Life" with the big stones first, because if they did not do that, then they may miss out on life all together.

So, the reason for telling this story was that I realized, I have been filling up my Jar of Life with the smaller things, things that are important to me, but are not what truly matters to me.  I have decided to make time for those big stones in my life and just fill the gaps with the other stuff like worrying about my blog, or getting my website up and running, those things can be done, and will be done, but in time.  What truly matters to me are the people in my life, My Family, and making time for them.

What truly matters to you?  What do you want to fill your jar up with?

If you Believe, you can Achieve...

What are your dreams? 

How can you achieve the things you have always wanted?  That's easy, two words - work hard.  Wow, that being said, I am done writing about this.  What did you think about my blog entry?  O, that isn't enough?  You are right, that isn't enough.  There is much more to do then just work hard.  Though, that should be enough.

You have to not only work hard, you have to believe in yourself, believe in the power that you can be a success, however you define success.  Believing you can make your dreams come true is probably one of the hardest beliefs to achieve.  Let's think about that.  How can you get what you want, while working hard, believing in yourself and doing everything right?  That question is for you to decide.  Decide to make the change within to get what you want.

I have talked about my dreams and goals, now think about yours.  What do you want to achieve in your life.  The sky is the limit.  I have always believed in that saying, "if you Believe, you can Achieve".  I would like to say I made that up, but I am sure someone thought of it long before I did.  It is so simple, but so true.

We have the power to make things better in our lives.  We have the power to decide what is best for us.  It takes determination, hard work and intense drive.  I am willing to work at it and set powerful and attainable goals, are you?  If so, here are a few questions to ask yourself along the way:

What is important to me?
What do I want right now for myself?
What can I do today that can direct me toward a future goal?
What am I doing in my everyday life that values these future goals that I have?
How can I move toward this goal?

So what was the question I asked you at the beginning?  Do you remember?  O that's right, my answer to that question for you is, instead of dreaming about it... DO IT!

What can you do for yourself to get unstuck in your life?

Isn't it amazing how easily we can get stuck, I mean really, truly stuck.  Whether it be in our personal life, our professional life, or just every day little things.  I have been stuck for the past few weeks.  Ever since I walked off of the plane from our vacation, I haven't felt creative, almost unmotivated, and just stuck.  I have decided to do something about it.

First thing I did was realize that I was, in fact, stuck.  I had to admit to myself that there was something holding me back.  (And thankfully, I have a great coach to help guide me through some of these rough areas that were and are blocking me...)  Being open to see what is not working can help shift you into a new perspective and see what may really be the underlying problem and in turn show you what will work.  The block or area you were stuck in may not be what you thought it was in the first place.

It took me a couple of weeks, a coaching session, a class in between and here I am.  Ready to write.  Feeling a little tiny bit stuck still, but realizing if I don't get anything down on paper (computer) then I am just avoiding what I thought was the problem, when in fact, that isn't it at all.  So I will tell you what the problem for me is and was, I jump into everything too fast.  I am like that Texas Hold 'em player that goes all in when really I have nothing in my hand, yet I'm trying to bluff the other players.  It usually doesn't work, and I lose all my money too quickly.   So, I have decided to dial a few things back, try taking insect steps (teeny tiny steps) with one thing at a time.

You can't expect to succeed by piling everything on at once and thinking the scale won't tip to one side.  I am famous for going all in and then losing it all and bowing out too early.  This is going to be different.  I want a successful blog, I want to be successful in coaching, I want to write a book one day, and I want to be on the Today Show, (preferably while Matt and Ann are still hosting - not too much to ask, right?) but all of those things won't happen over night, nor will they happen at all if I don't focus my efforts.

So, I am getting myself unstuck one foot at a time.  It isn't easy for someone like me to do insect steps though I tell everyone else to take them,  and because I want so bad to go all in with this hand, but I really don't think it is a good hand to go all in for just yet.  I know I have to wait until I get a full house to be confident enough to take a big risk and maybe give all of my hypothetical money away.

I am going to be the turtle, slow and steady, to win the race.

How have you gotten yourself unstuck?

(Write a comment, let me know what you may be stuck with... We could help each other move forward together!)

People watching...

Photo by Clip art



Have you ever been at the airport and just sat and watched people?  Of course you have, I know I am not the only one.

It's like watching "Reality TV" playing out in front of you.  Better than the Real Housewives, and even the Jersey Shore.  You get a variety of stories, a variety of personalities, but your own dialogue.

I love just sitting there, drinking my coffee, staring out at the crowd of people walking by.  As they walk briskly, slowly, purposefully, doubtfully by - I wonder, where are they going?  Who are they going to see?  Will it be a happy trip?  A vacation?  A hometown reunion?  Do they want to go?  Do they have to go?  etc.  People are so interesting.  They don't have to do anything but walk by me, and I am already immersed into their lives, for just that moment.  It is incredible what little time I need to spend watching someone, to have a whole story made up about their lives, regardless if I am right or wrong about them, it's my reality show.

One young woman walked by, she had a beautiful, colorful, and flow-y dress on.  Her shoes weren't meant to walk up and down airport hallways, they were more for a runway, or a catwalk.  Too high to be comfortable, yet commanded attention by all.  This young woman looked a little out of place from all the other weary, tired and comfortable clothed travelers.  But I was entranced by those shoes, it was like a train wreck that I couldn't turn away from.  She was alone, I wondered where her and those shoes were off to.  I bet she was meeting someone wonderful at the other end of her travels, someone she hadn't seen in a while that she wanted to dress up for.  Looking down at myself I realized she must be single.  Low and behold her ring finger was absent of any sort of commitment.  I had a whole story made up about her in 5 seconds flat!

When I turned my head I saw a family of  5.  The littlest one holding his mother's hand and dragging his tiny suitcase behind him.  I heard Jon say, "Look!  It's Lightening McQueen!"  The little boy had a Lightening McQueen pull along backpack.  Jon has Thomas the Tank Engine, I think I may need to upgrade Jon's carry on bag.  The family looked tired, the father looked like he was ready for the trip to be over while the 2 other children dragged their belongings along from behind and kept swatting at each other.  It made me think back to when I was little and my family used to travel.  I still don't know how my parents traveled with the 5 of us kids and kept it together.  But that in itself is a whole other story.

You can learn a lot about yourself, by watching other people.   I know I have.  Just by sitting quietly in my own world, watching others I have learned how tolerant, understanding, helpful, anxious I can be.  How can watching other people teach me all of that, you ask?  Well, I am tolerant to people that are not like me, and it has made me truly realize how wonderfully unique and individual we all are.  I am understanding to those who need space, room, and time to breathe (while traveling).  I am helpful when I notice someone has a question, but everyone else walks by them.  I am anxious about my own traveling fears, yet keep them to myself, so as not to worry anyone else.

People watching while traveling is great... People watching in general is just something I love to do, like I said, it is my Reality TV and it's free!

Mother...

Photo by clip art




So, I don't usually write what I am about to write, but since it is Mother's Day night I feel it most fitting to write a little note to the mother that has loved me, raised me, supported me, and helped me to be the person I am today.  This is for you Mom!

From the first day you took me in your arms and held me, I was yours.  Though I was not made from your body or biological make up, and I didn't have your eyes or your bright and loving smile.  I was yours.  I was bonded to you from the moment you laid eyes on me.  Nothing could break that feeling of knowing, I was yours.

You gave me the name, Alyssa, since the original Irish name of Kathleen just didn't quite fit with the little baby girl from Korea.  I was brought into a family of all boys, three older brothers and a younger brother.  What a wonderful family to be part of.  Even though you have told me that you and Dad believed that you were the lucky ones to have received me.   I know now and will forever believe, I am truly the lucky one.

Many people would ask me, don't you want to know who your real mother is?  Don't you ever wonder what she looks like or if you resemble her, or if you have any siblings?  My answer to those questions are I know who my REAL mother is, I know what she looks like and I know I resemble her in my own special way and yes, I do have siblings.

There had been a time in my life where I doubted myself and doubted my worth, but you, mom were always there to love and support me.  You helped me realize I do have many gifts to give and to believe in myself that I can make anything I want happen.  Even now when I have doubts and insecurities, you are there as a guiding light.

I couldn't have lived this life if it weren't for you (and Dad).  You have never made me feel like I wasn't yours.  There has never been a time in my life where I felt I didn't belong to you.  You have loved me unconditionally and in a way that every mother loves their child.  I have never doubted that love you gave me.

Mom, there are many things I want for you.  I want you to always know you are loved, supported and adored.  I want you to know that even though I may not say it all the time, you mean the absolute world to me.  You, have set great examples for me and I hope I am half the mother to my children that you are to me.

Thank you for all that you have done for me.  Thank you for all that you do.  Thank you for just being the wonderful, beautiful and selfless woman you are.  You truly are the wind beneath my wings.

Today, like everyday, I celebrate you and the love I have for you.

"A mother holds her children's hands for a while, but their hearts forever..."

Happy Mother's Day to all the wonderful, loving and selfless mothers - today and everyday!

Defining moment

What defines you?

Think about that for a moment...  What defines you?  Your family?  Friends?  Clothes?  Hair?  Ethnicity?  The way you talk, or walk?  Do your children define you (if you have them)?  Your husband/wife/significant other?

So many different ways to think about yourself and what truly defines who you are as a person.  I have thought about this question in recent years.  What defines me are many different things.  I can't pinpoint just one thing.  If the Merriam-Webster Dictionary had to define me, it would probably take up a Volume.  Volume A.  And I couldn't possibly just be a noun, I am a verb too, and while I'm at it, an adjective...  Aren't we all though?  Aren't we all persons, places and things, describing words, etc.  We are so completely complex and different, yet so similar and simple (in a way).  I digress...

Okay, so back to what defines me...  I was going to say my children - like some parents say.  But that is not true for me.  My children do not define me, not at all, they just enhance who I am as a person.  They make me better than I am.  They have taught me so much, but they aren't what has defined me.

From looking at me on the outside, you may say, those features define her.  O no, they don't define me.  Those features just give you the illusion of who I may be.  But my eyes, my lips, my cheeks, the way I wear my hair, those things don't define me, they just give you a false sense of who you may think I am.

If you heard my heavy footsteps coming up a flight of stairs you would say, O, those loud footsteps define her... Loud, purposeful and heavy.  But I would have to disagree, those don't define me.  Those heavy footsteps are from a woman who has places to go and people to see, a purpose and life, but with no destination, just walking happily.

So, there is no simple answer to this.  Think about it.  What defines you?  You, like me won't be able to come up with one single answer, but many different definitions of who you are.  It is a process of what defines us.  The wonderful thing about definitions is that like everything else in this world they may evolve.  Though a definition itself may not change (usually), the way it is used may evolve.  Such as, evolve came from a Latin word, evolvere, first known use was in 1775.  And look at it now.

We are endless definitions.  We are who we believe we are.  We are who others believe we are.  We are timeless, ever changing, ever evolving.

NOTE:  I apologize for any misspells or I had to do it quickly at 4am...   Have a Great week!!!  I'm off line for a few days... Enjoy the silence! ;)

Customer Service....

"Can I help you."  The young lady says in a rude and a bit of an annoyed voice.  I smile at her, trying to be nice, "Yes. Hi, I would like a large cheese pizza with peppers, onions, and sausage, a large french fry and a...."  She cuts me off.  "Hold on, I am trying to find the key for onions...  Okay, yeah, what else?"   Should I really be shocked or surprised that she cut me off so rudely?  "I would like sausage on the pizza too."  "Yeah, I got that, what else?"  "Uhmmm..."  I stammer a little.  "I would like a large fry and a large garden salad."  She looks at me,  " That it?"  I look back at her, smile again, "Yes, that is it."  


My question again is, should I really be shocked or surprised?

The answer is NO, I should not be shocked or surprised by how rude, miserable, and unhelpful she was.  Actually, these days, that's the norm.  To really expect nice and friendly customer service is so few and far between, that when I do actually get good service it's like a big breath of fresh air.

I understand most people these days aren't getting paid very good money, I think minimum wage is $8.00 per hour.  My first official paying job was when I was 15, I worked at Frugal Fannies, a women's clothing store, I think minimum wage at the time was $3.75 per hour - no joke!   Even though minimum wage was $3.75 per hour, I believe I got paid $5.00 an hour at the time.  I worked weekends, Saturdays and Sundays, while going to school during the week.  I was a hard worker and worked for every penny I received.  And I also recall my customer service skills were impeccable, if I do say so myself.  I took pride in the way I dealt with customers.

These days young kids and even some adults don't seem to care about customer service or how a person is treated.  I am in a position where I serve customers, I also do many calls to other offices, and I find, a lot of the offices I do call need a customer service training course.  I have always believed in the saying, 'Kill'em with Kindness' and to this day, that is what I do:  I smile, even when I may not want to, I say hello, and acknowledge the person when they walk through the door, I am cordial, sweet, and I am helpful even when someone may be rude to me.  I do those things because that is my job to be nice and because I work in a customer service based position.

I would love to go into some companies and just do seminars on customer service.  Because these days a lot of the workers need a reminder of what their job functions are.  I have stopped going to many places due to rude service.  People should take pride in what they do, regardless of where they work or how much they get paid.  It is your job, whether you like it or not and if you don't like it, find another job.  These are the choices in life that YOU have to make.  No matter what we don't live in a movie where some rich man will actually ever fall in love with a hooker, unless you are, in fact, Julia Roberts.  And no, sorry, only Charlize Theron gets spotted by a talent agent while pulling a tantrum on a bank teller.  So unless you have incredible luck, or you are one of these two ladies, you WILL have to make choices for your future and what you want for yourself.

Make the most of your job, whether it be customer based or not. Enjoy what you do, do what you enjoy...  And if nothing else, if someone is rude to you just Kill em' ....... with kindness!!!  ;)

Silence and reflection...

Photo taken by my husband




What is silence to you?

Silence can be a sign of reflection.  So in the few days I was not posting, I was reflecting.  Reflecting on my new adventures and future conquests.  I was also reflecting on how lucky I am to have so many wonderful, loving and supportive people in my life.  I am truly truly blessed.  I believe that letting yourself be silent and reflective can help to put your life into perspective.  Being thankful for all the little things that you may not notice everyday and realizing that they do make a big difference.

How do you reflect on your life?

Silence can also be a sign of many other things not just reflection.  Silence can be a sign of thoughtfulness.  Sometimes when I need to think about something, I need total silence, to truly "hear" myself think.  Silence can be a sign of restraint.  Being able to restrain yourself from saying something you may not mean or may not be appropriate at the time, can mean a whole heck of a lot more to someone rather than yelling or giving unwanted advice.  Silence can be a sign of gratitude.  You may not always have to say anything to show your love or appreciation for someone or something.  A smile may say everything you want and need to say.  Silence can be a sign of reverence.  Plain and simple...


It took me a long time to silence my own busy brain.  My head was always full of a lot of chatter... Either telling myself I wasn't good enough, or that I wasn't worthy of being truly valued and loved.  It was chatter in my brain that needed to be shut off.  To be silenced.  After all these years I finally realized I do, in fact, have value.  Growing up, my parents believed in me, my brothers believed in me, my friends too...  But I didn't believe in myself.  After quieting those demons in my head, I am at peace with all my imperfections and know, there is no such thing as ultimate perfection, only personal perfection...


Take some time out to be silent.  Let yourself be in that feeling of quiet and reflection.  Think about what makes you the incredible person you are today.  Because you ARE incredible.  Remember the only person on this earth that will truly give you any props is YOU.  So, take care of yourself, let yourself be silent, let yourself listen to the inner SMART you.  Don't listen to the chatter.

Take in the silence, drink it up and enjoy it, even if it is just for a moment!

Growing up doesn't mean growing "old"....

Photo taken by my husband





Do we really have to "grow up"?

I seem to be asking myself that question a lot lately, because I am not sure I really want to grow up.  It isn't about looking physically young for me, but don't get me wrong if I could look young for the rest of my life, I'd take it.  I'd take it and flaunt it!  Okay, Okay, I wouldn't flaunt it     -      too much... ;)  It is more about feeling young on the inside and being absolutely silly, crazy and a little immature on the outside.

Today, I realize, I am not a person who is ready to grow up.  I'm just happy being young at heart.  I love being silly, I love laughing at myself, and at myself with other people.  Taking life too seriously to me is like drinking black Starbucks coffee - way too strong, has a bite to it, and missing the needed sweetener and cream to lighten it up.  Sometimes, don't you just want to tell people to "lighten up"?

Don't get me wrong now, I am serious, when I need to be serious; thoughtful, when I need to be thoughtful; and a parent, when I need to be a parent.  I am no push over though, okay, maybe just a little bit.  I am just happy to be on this earth, living and breathing.  The sun is my power outlet, I recharge myself in the rays so that I can keep on going kind of like the Energizer Bunny, only I'm not pink, and I don't have built in wheels on my feet but that would be pretty awesome if I did!

Isn't there enough negativity and misery in this world?  Why feed into that?  I don't want to wake up tomorrow with a miserable frown on my face (because it's more of a bewildered - confused look with really messy hair), I want to take on the day with a happy, free, young spirit.  I want to keep the innocence of my youth, the purity of a new fresh day, and the virtue of child.  Growing up doesn't have to mean growing miserable, becoming jaded, or being hardened by the years of knowledge.

Keeping a young spirit means keeping your soul alive.  Alive to learn new things and being able to laugh at the silliness of it all.  Realizing that bad things do happen, but trying to see the positive hiding deep within the negative.  Being thankful for all that you do have, and only wanting for what you truly need.

If tomorrow you wake up with a frown on your face, splash cold water on it like your putting out a fire and look in the mirror and say, "Damn, You look HOTTT!" if that doesn't make you smile just a little, then call me I'm good at starting fires! ;)

What are some ways you can feel young and silly? You don't have to run around a mall dancing behind unsuspecting people to do it, it can be as little as making a funny face at a young child you walk past.  What's stopping you from letting go?  Be like Nike and JUST DO IT!

Personal Power...

Photo from Clip art








How do you define Personal Power?

I was awoken by this question (well, not literally woken up, but figuratively awoken).

Obviously, there is no right or wrong answer to this.   So, after thinking long and hard on how I would define Personal Power, I came up with this answer:  Not knowing who I am, but realizing it's okay to keep learning and understanding myself.  We as humans are ever growing, shifting, changing, etc.  And so Personal Power is acknowledging you are forever learning about yourself, and being open to that knowledge.  Power is Learning and the Knowledge you gain from that insight is truly profound.

Though Personal Power could come from anything, Personal Power may change...  It could be knowing your flaws and loving yourself despite them.  Realizing under the messy hair, frumpy clothes, and responsibilities you truly are a Super Hero to your family.  Knowing that you don't need kids, a husband/wife, tons of money, your stuff together or anything like that to define who you are as a person.  Or even:  Loving the person you are today and know that you don't have to be accountable to anyone but yourself.

What are your thoughts on this topic?  How would you define Personal Power?

Think about those questions.  Let them sink in.  You don't even need to answer them, they may be good just to keep in the back of your mind when figuring out how you are today.

Bring Power to your life by learning something new each day.

Learning to breathe...

Photo from Clip art






Take a deep breath in...
Let it out...
Take another deep breath in...
Let it out...


I find myself doing that more often than not lately.  It's such a great and easy way to relieve stress, a great way to really breathe in positive energy and a great way to help put your body and mind in a new place.  So quick, so easy, and so refreshing.

Breathing regenerates the body.  Without it, we wouldn't be alive, would we?

Take a deep breath in...
Let it out...

Woooooo... I feel good.  Though, it doesn't work miracles.  Breathing, when you pay attention to it, can even help put your mind in a whole new perspective.  Breathe in that new fresh perspective, exhale that old stale one.

Today was a breathe worthy day.  If you were where I was today, you would have found yourself breathing in and out a lot, and hoping you would make yourself pass out.  Or at least that is how I felt.  I didn't really want to be in the moments of my day, at some points I felt good, but others, well, I was breathing.  Though, you should want to be in each and every moment as much as you can, today was just not that day.

Take a deep breath in...
Let it out...

I am still in that breathing pattern.  I'm still trying to let the fresh air expand my lungs and fill them with positive energy.  While exhaling out the heavy, weighted feelings.

Learning to breathe is so important.  And, though we all know how to breathe, we don't all know how to breathe.  It took me years to learn to really breathe.  When I was young, I played sports I was taught to breathe in through my nose and out through my mouth to help with cramps when running track, lifting weights or laps for field hockey.  When I got a little older, I breathed smoke into my lungs to be cool, (GROSS habit, I don't do it anymore, but I did enjoy it at the time) long slow drags.  When I was pregnant, I learned how to do the Lamaze breathing - slow, steady and soothing to relieve the pain of childbirth.  When my children were born and I became a parent, I learned that I must breathe and walk away before yelling at my children.  Now, I am learning to use breathing not only as a life sustain-er, cramp helper, NO SMOKING/lung healer, pain soother, and an anger manager, but now as a regenerating, new perspective making and life enhancing tool.

O yes, it took me almost 36 years to realize, there are more reasons for breathing, then just to keep me alive, though, that reason in itself should be the main reason for breathing, it is not the only reason we breathe.

Take a deep breath in...
Let it out...

Being present...

Photo taken by AliceKKT (http://alicekkt.deviantart.com/)






What is being present?  How does it look to you?

Being present means being totally in that moment - physically, emotionally and in connection with, whatever that moment may be.

Have you ever had those times when you are just not in the moment?  There are many times where I am physically somewhere, but my head is just not.  I am the consummate daydreamer.  I find, sometimes, when I read, I will be reading the words, but not always reading the words.  I am not connecting with what I am reading, so I have to read some sentences over once, twice, even three times.

I have been at dinner with friends, we are all in a conversation and though I am looking at the person who is talking, I am usually watching them, their expressions, looking at the others to see how they are reacting but not really listening to their words.  I am physically in that moment, yet I am not always 100% present in it.

You can be physically present somewhere, but emotionally you can be in another world.  

I have a few tricks that I now use when I know that my mind may be wandering when I am in a situation.  Some of the following tricks I use have helped me to truly be present.  I have listed below some examples of ways I stay present in a social situation:

1.  Scan the room ahead of time so I don't feel like I am missing anything around me.  I have found that my attention is easily diverted to other things if I haven't noticed them before, but by seeing what is around me, I will be more apt to pay closer attention to what I need to pay attention to.

2.  Make eye contact with the person speaking.  To show my attentiveness to that person, and then to remind myself that that person is the one to pay attention to.

3.  Listen.  Block out all the noise around me.

4.  Look at the others in the group as a way to engage them while listening.

5.  Speak up.  Every once in a while I will nod, or make acknowledgments to the person, or even ask questions (not too many questions, I don't want to be annoying, after all...) - only a few short questions are good to ask, just to be more curious and to learn more information.

6.  And last but not least...  Be there in complete and utter presence in that moment.  Daydreaming can wait, missing out on an important conversation can't.

I realize that there are times I may not always be truly present in all situations, but as long as I can recognize those times when I am off in space, I can always talk myself back down to earth.  Recognition is the key to knowing when you are there in that moment or not.

What ways can you stay present in a situation?  How can you train your brain to be 100% in it?

Make the most of the situations around you.  Don't let time, a good conversation, or a good laugh pass you by.  Enjoy the moments, the connections, and just being present.

A smile a day...

Marilyn Monroe a/k/a Norma Jeane Mortenson Baker



Ya know that saying, "an apple a day, keeps the doctor away"?  How about, a genuine happy smile can keep the negativity away.  I believe when you smile it makes life that much better.  Smiling at a stranger, makes you feel better, even if they don't smile back.  At least, when I smile at people, it makes me feel better.  It is a subtle way of spreading joy on.  There are not many things in this world that you want to spread to others, but joy and happiness are two things that are easily spreadable and ultimately positive.

A smile can brighten up a room, a smile can change a whole person's demeanor, a smile can win hearts and sometimes change minds.  Smiles are powerful.

I have become so self conscious of my smile and feel like it is truly embarrassing to smile with my whole mouth.   Now, I either cover my mouth, smile with my mouth closed, or both.  At the beginning I tried to do the red carpet "sly smile", you know that smile that they do with their lips pursed together like Sylvester - the Pooty Tat and looking out to the cameras like they have Tweety bird in their mouths - Yeah, that wasn't me and I looked really silly doing it.  I went back to smiling with my whole mouth (to see if I got over the ugliness of my braces)  - showing all of my hardware - I realized, that only scared the children and myself!  So, then I tried the shy smile like a Geisha (with my hand in front of my face, which is what I did before my braces, at times), that makes me look like a repressed Asian woman with no confidence.  Bingo!  I found my smile...  It works well.

A smile says a lot about a person.  Whether they are confident, pretending to be confident, shy, ready to take on the world, happy, sad - yes a smile can show sadness as well, a smile can also show hardships, it can show a life lived, it can brighten someones day, or make someone afraid, you can smile to persuade someone, or to make someone feel comfortable.  A smile truly is worth a thousand (million) words!

What ways can you make the most of your smile?

A smile is a donation from the heart, use it whenever you think it is appropriate and where it will make a difference.  It costs nothing to smile at others.

Look out World... By December 2012, these braces are coming off and you won't be able to wipe this free donation off my face! ;)

Be accountable...

What makes you accountable?

Remember my "Challenges" blog?  Well, lets just say, I haven't followed through with them.  Okay, with 2 of them, I haven't followed through with 2 of them.  There, I said it!  The only one I stuck with was the half-hour of exercise a day.  So now I realize - it is time to get serious and make myself accountable.

It is one thing to give yourself challenges to do, it is another thing to stick with them and make yourself accountable to follow through on the challenges.  When I made those challenges, I don't think I was truly being serious about them.  I thought I could give myself 3 challenges and then I assumed I would do them (remember what happens when you assume?!?!  Exactly).  That, right there, was my first mistake.

So now it is time to make myself accountable to myself.  It is hard to make yourself accountable to yourself when really, you are the only one who will know anyways, right? WRONG.  YOU are your worst critic, YOU are the one that beats yourself up the most, YOU are the only voice you truly listen to in the end.  So here is my plan of action on being accountable and following through:

1. Start off slow (just like I said in my "Challenges" blog - insect steps)...  3 challenges all at once was a little overwhelming (for me), so I have cut it down to 2 challenges: 1. half-hour of exercise a day; and 2. cooking for my family 4 times per week.
2. Each week write up an exercise/dinner plan ahead of time, such as, Monday - stair climb at 8:30pm/make pasta w/veggies, Tuesday - Boot camp at 6am/make chicken w/ rice, Wednesday - jog lake w/daughter - no time specific/make fish w/ veggies.  etc.  (you get my point)...
3. Check off each day that is accomplished.
4. Give myself an incentive for the end of the week (If all challenges are met by Sunday - add $10 to the 3 Month Challenge Jar - what's a challenge jar - its the jar that will hold the money that I accumulate for accomplishing my weekly challenges so at the end of my challenge date I can buy myself something good - something I usually don't or can't splurge on - like a pedicure or manicure or both!!!).

By doing this it will make me feel more accountable to myself.  You should try it too, tell me if it works for you.  I will keep you posted on my challenges too!

I do feel that I am accountable to mostly everyone like, my family, my friends, my work, Scott (my boot camp instructor), and now - Myself!  Being accountable is so important.  It makes you feel like you are doing something for a reason and that you have someone that is counting on you to do it.  Letting that person down, even if it is yourself, is out of the question.

Set little goals and be accountable to finish them.  Sometimes it isn't always easy, but knowing you are doing something for yourself may be helpful.

Take this challenge, be accountable to yourself and see how you feel.  Know that nothing is worth doing unless it is something that challenges you anyway.  We would all do the easy stuff all the time if we could, but what's the point in that?  No pain, no gain - right?

Don't give up... Don't give in...

Photo taken by me






There have been days where I just want to give up.  Days that I think, "wow, I just can't do that, that is way too hard for me to do".  Have you had one of those days?  When you just want to throw in the towel and crawl into bed?

Well, Don't!  I mean it.  Don't give up.  Even if you think it would be easier burying your head under the covers.  Don't just give in.  What is the point of even starting anything if you don't finish it?

I signed up for a boot camp class every Tuesday and Thursday mornings for 6 weeks.  I couldn't make it to the first one, do to a procedure I had, but was there that following Thursday, up and ready to go for the 6am start time.  (Did I mention I am not an early morning person?)   So to me, a 5:20am alarm clock blaring in my ears is like the equivalent of sticking pins in my eyes (well not really, but you know what I mean).   The next week, Tuesday came and I was up and ready to go. Okay, so I wasn't up and ready, it was more like, I was laying in bed talking to myself and saying, "Do I really want to go? Yes, Get up.  Really?  My bed is so warm.  Yes, it is, but Get up!  I'm happy in my bed".  Well, I did finally drag myself out of bed to go and was happy when I got home.  Happy that I didn't give in to myself.

The next week was a battle.  My son had been sick, I was hardly sleeping and I had to be up to go to boot camp, I got up Tuesday of that week, but not Thursday.  It happened again the week after, I got up Tuesday, but stayed in bed Thursday.  What was I doing?  I paid for this, I had to get up.  Not to mention, I know the boot camp instructor and he sent me a message on Facebook asking where I have been?  Wow, did I feel like a loser!  I can hear you now, "Really Alyssa?  Really?  You can't even make it to a boot camp class that is only 2 days a week?  You are pathetic".  And yes, I deserve that!

So here is my point,  get up, when you don't want to.  Realize that giving up and giving in are not options. They are more like a last resort.

Your reason for staying in bed could be much more different than mine, but trust me, no matter what the reason, you should get up.  Face the world with a Can Do attitude!  Make the most of every minute you have.  And when all else fails remember, every minute you spend telling yourself not to do something, is a minute wasted on things you could be doing for yourself that mean a lot.

Don't Give Up and Don't Give In!  Push yourself to be the best for yourself, for your family, for the world.  What's stopping you?!?!

Inspiration

Photo taken by my daughter...








What inspires you? What makes you get up out of bed every morning?

The obvious answer to that for me are my children, of course.  But then, there is little on this earth that doesn't inspire me.  Inspiration can come from the wonderful smell of chocolate chip cookies baking in the oven that bring you back to your childhood or how the clouds are shaped in the sky as the suns rays shine through onto the earth.  Inspiration can come from a sound, a touch, a taste, or just a feeling within.

My daughter sent me a text the other day with a picture of 3 quizzes/tests.  They were overlapping each other just showing each grade she received on each paper.  The first grade was an 87, then an 86.5 then a 90 with a message that said "3 good French grades in a row!!!! :D".   I was so happy for her since she was having such a hard time in French class, feeling like she just couldn't do well.  She told me her inspiration to do well in French class was thinking about someday being able to study abroad in France.  So, if she does well now, she may be able to go there and travel.  I told her, with that determination,  inspiration, and drive she could totally achieve that goal and more!   Because of her hard work and dedication to studying and wanting more for herself truly inspired me to work harder in  my own life and things that I have had a hard time with.

What is going on in your life that may not be going as planned or as you were hoping it would?  It could be anything, from your relationship with a friend, to developing and finishing a work project...  If you are struggling with something in your life think about something that inspires you.  Take a walk in the fresh air, take a jog or a yoga class to clear your mind, go to a spa for a little pampering (yes, men, you can go there too).  Find what inspires you, then awaken your senses, tie it into whatever you may be struggling with and brainstorm ideas for making positive things happen.

Don't you just love that feeling when you are inspired by something?  It's that eyes widening, smile growing feeling that makes you truly believe - anything is possible.

Don't we all need a little inspiration?

Life Purpose...

Have you ever thought of your Life Purpose?  I know that may sound a little broad and overwhelming, but have you even thought about it?  If your answer is no, let me explain.

When I talk about life purpose I am not necessarily talking about the future or what you "think" your life purpose is for all time.  I am talking about today. Today, what is your life purpose?

My life purpose today is:  I am the Berlin Wall, that is strong, confident and powerful, and that has been broken down to open up the other side of me that is sensitive, caring and loving.   (I am - that object/metaphor, that is - the action/powerful words.)

Today, that is me, and it may be me, tomorrow, and it had been me, yesterday.  But that life purpose can change.  Just like us, we are ever changing and evolving to survive within our universe.  As I said, it is okay to change, great even!   And it is okay to let others change too.  If we were to stay the same for the rest of our lives we probably wouldn't survive well in life.  As Charles Darwin  believed, species adapt, change, and evolve by natural selection.  If we didn't evolve, adapt and change we would be extinct.  Right?

It is important to have a life purpose today, and it is okay to change it tomorrow. We have no guarantees to life, that is why we must live happily and positively today.  (But whatever you do, don't go off living today like it is your last day on earth like spending money, quitting your job, and doing crazy things - that will just leave you broke, jobless and miserable.)  What I mean is, tell the people you love that you love them, smile at strangers, say hello to the person in the elevator with you, drop a penny in a wishing well, and make a silly wish, breathe in the fresh air, feel the cold wind on your face, or the warm sunshine.

Find your life purpose today, it can be as silly as, I am the pillow in my bed, that has decided to lay comfortably and protectively upon my sheets... HAHAHA...  (I kind of like that.  Wink Wink.)  Take a moment in the morning while you get ready for work, or after you take a shower, or when you are brushing your teeth, think about what your life purpose for the day may be...  And if you need help trying to find your life purpose I am here to help you on the journey, you are always welcome to contact me, email me, comment, etc.

There are endless possibilities to life purpose, just as their are endless possibilities to you.

Challenge...

Photo taken by me :)




What challenges you?

Have you ever really thought of that question and truly answered it? Why not take a moment and think it over, really think about some of the things that challenge you. (PAUSE) Did you think about it? What answers did you come up with?

I have thought about that question long and hard, that's probably why I am writing about it. I realize I don't give myself enough challenges to follow through with. I also realized, any challenge that I have given myself, I usually give up on before ever truly finishing what I started. So here I am, deciding on new challenges for myself. Really making sure that these challenges are attainable and that I am able to conquer them.

So, I want to start off small, setting myself up for a win and not a fail, knowing that if I set the challenges too high, I may not reach them. My first challenge is to exercise at least once a day, 30 minutes a day, for 3 months. My second is to figure out why I keep getting hives (in this challenge what I really need to do is take the time out to write down what I eat each day, keep a food diary, and then eventually take out certain foods one by one and then reintroduce myself to them). And my final challenge is to cook dinner at home for my family at least 4 times a week, if not more. My husband would want me to cook more, I, on the other hand would like to either eat out every night, or hire a chef. Since both of those ideas are out of our budget, and really totally out of the question, I am just going to have to challenge myself to cook.

I have chosen 3 challenges and give myself 3 months to stick with these challenges, and since they (whoever they are) say that habits form within 2 weeks, I figure, 3 months should be a somewhat sufficient time frame to build habits in my life. Like I said, I am starting off small and am working my way up to bigger challenges eventually. You have to start somewhere, right? Insect steps, insect steps - teeny tiny little steps turning you in the right direction!

Now, since I am challenging myself to do 3 things, what about you? Will you take this challenge with me? Do something you don't necessarily want to do, but challenge yourself to do it?

Challenges are a way to push you and make you stronger. Don't you want to be strong in your personal and professional life?

Challenge yourself to make a difference in your life, whether big or small. A difference doesn't mean you have to cure world hunger, or stop North Korea from building nuclear weapons, (although, if you could challenge yourself to do something about those 2 things, that wouldn't be too bad). But making a difference by challenging yourself in your own life will make a difference in others lives as well.

Think about it, is there a mountain too high that you can't challenge yourself to conquer?! If the answer is NO, and I hope it is... Then DO IT!!! Climb that mountain of challenges, start off on a small mountain and work your way up to Mt. Kilimanjaro or Mt. Everest of challenges. If I can work on doing it, so can't you!

Appreciation...

Photo taken by my husband



Looking out on the morning rain...
I used to feel uninspired...
and when I knew I had to face another day...
Lord, it made me feel so tired...
Before the day I met you, life was so unkind, but you're the key to my peace of mind...

O! Hello! Sorry about that, I was singing to myself. (Better to myself then out loud - that's what my family would probably say... HA!!!) Don't you just love that song? Natural Woman by the Queen of Soul herself, Aretha Franklin. She is SOOOO good! If only I could sing like her.........

'Cause, YOU make me feel, YOU make me feel, YOU make me feel like a natural woman...

Whoops, I think that was out loud... Okay, getting back to writing, I didn't even realize you were here already... I was just singing away, happy to be in my own little world, but there you were, showing up out of nowhere. Thank you for that!

I want to say how much I truly appreciate you being here, reading this, and hopefully, maybe, possibly - liking it?!?! I am having such a great time writing my thoughts and opening up my world to you. Opening up my thoughts to you. And being the one thing I didn't really want to be... Vulnerable. It truly is fantastic.

You see, sometimes you need to open yourself up to new adventures in life to truly appreciate living. Wouldn't it be boring to wake up every day doing the same thing, over and over again? So why do it?

What can you do to open yourself up more?

It doesn't have to be a big something, you can start off by taking insect steps. (I say insect steps instead of baby steps, because insects are even teeny tinier steps. So taking those teeny tiny steps, especially if you aren't truly ready to take a step at all, will help to just turn you in the right direction.) It doesn't have to take much thought, and you don't have to make a huge decision right away, but something small everyday will help you get to something big eventually.

Take that insect step... Slowly. Or you can be like me and just dive right into something new regardless if the waters are shark or piranha infested. Hey, I made sure I could swim first. Grab your life vest. Come along for the ride. I dare you to do something new!!!

Beautiful...

Aren't we all beautiful in our own unique way?

When I was watching the Today Show this morning there was a British woman who wrote an article about being "too beautiful". I watched the news story and then, of course I had to read the actual article for myself. After reading the article I truly believed at the end of it the woman (Samantha Brick) would have wrote, "April Fools" or "this was just for an experiment - blah blah blah"... Or something, to that effect. Boy, was I wrong on that. To my surprise and confusion (yes, I was a bit confused), I realized she was serious with all the things she said about herself.

While I applaud her for her courage and her self-esteem (clap clap clap), I think the article shows, not that she is beautiful on the outside or inside, but that she is conceded and wants to proclaim out loud how wonderful and beautiful she "thinks" she is. And I noticed, she seemed to want to validate herself by giving the audience (us) reasons why she believes she is so beautiful and that everyone (every woman, I mean) that meets her is so unbelievably jealous of her.

I found that article a bit sad. I felt sorry for her to have to write that about herself. To have to tell the world that she feels slighted by other women, that she needs us to see how persecuted she is. The fact that she has such negative feelings toward other women and always feeling that they are jealous of her makes me want to give her a hug and tell her, "we aren't jealous of you, you may just have a really crappy personality, but let me get to know you and then I will tell you the reasons why women may shun you from their social circles". Well, I wouldn't quite say it like that, but you have to wonder why she feels like she is on a pedestal while everyone else is below her.

She seemed like a lonely soul with her only ally being her husband. I believe in having friends, women friends, of all shapes, sizes, ethnic backgrounds, age, hair color, etc. I think all of my friends and female family members are beautiful. All women are beautiful regardless of the little "imperfections" we ALL have.

What is life without your girls to back you up? What is life without your "sisters" new and old? What is life without the giggles, the girl talks and the Girls Only get away's? I just wouldn't survive without my girl friends and all the women in my life (especially My mom!!!! and My daughter!!!). With their love and support I know I can do anything in this life. I love my guys too! O, I LOVE MY GUYS! My guy friends and the men in my life! And trust me, I would NEVER be jealous of my beautiful girl friends being around my husband, and I know my girl friends would never be jealous of me being around their other halves.

Women should be protective, loving and understanding to one another, not envious or jealous to the point where they are mean to each other. Don't get me wrong, I am SOOOO envious of all my friends for different reasons, because they are incredible, strong, independent and beautiful women, who wouldn't be jealous of them?!?! But I am not threatened by them, I am not threatened by anyone. Sure there are people out there that feel threatened or sabotaged by others, but as Eleanor Roosevelt once famously said, No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. How true that statement is.

I am not going to berate Samantha Brick, as I do think she was brave for saying all that she had about herself. But I do believe there is no reason for anyone to write an article like that, and not think they will get back lash for it. After all, with every action, there is a reaction, no matter positive or negative...

Remember this my faithful readers... Beauty comes from the inside out, if you are toxic inside it will show on the outside. No hair dyes, face lifts, plastic surgeries can fix a black and tarnished heart. Be free of jealousy and envy and you will be amazed at how much the world opens up!

Looking back...

When I look back at my past, my childhood, my teenage years, my early adult life, I smile with happiness remembering the good times. Don't get me wrong I also have moments where I cringe remembering the times I would like to forget. But those good and bad times have helped shape us all into the people we are today. You need to make a few cringe worthy mistakes along the way during your lifetime to really learn and understand yourself.

Mistakes are meant to be made, they help us grow and understand ourselves and remind us that we aren't perfect, no matter how hard we try. (After all, being perfect is not all it's cracked up to be, really, I know. - wink wink.)

Have you ever done something and then a minute later thought, What the heck was I thinking? I can't take that back now, it's already done. There have been many times where I have thought that. And then afterwards realized, okay, I can't change what's been done, but I will make a mental note of not doing it again. Remember, as I said before, and as I am sure you already know, to every action there is a reaction and if the reaction is a negative one, then hopefully you have learned from it and know not to repeat the action.

What have you learned from the mistakes you have made? What life lessons do you live by, knowing what not to do?

I would like to think my mistakes have been made and that now I am just living my life. But no matter what, throughout our lives and until our heart stops beating and we take our last breath, we will make mistakes. It is inevitable. And it is okay to make them. We are human and humans are not perfect no matter how hard we try. Live your life knowing mistakes will be made but also knowing, just like all the other mistakes, you will get through it and learn from it and move forward.

Understand yourself and your limits, make a conscious effort to be the best person you can be. Know that not everyday will be sunshine and roses but choose to take each day - one day at a time and live it true to yourself and who you are, mistakes and all.

Are you Significant?

My thought of the day is significance. What is significant about being significant? A whole heck of a lot. You don't want to live your life being insignificant to yourself and to others, do you? I don't even want you to answer that, because you should already know what I would write.

The Merriam-Webster Dictionary definition for the word Significant is:
1. Having meaning; especially
2. Having or likely to have influence or effect.

Being significant to yourself is having meaning, importance and influence and knowing you have that power inside of you.

What ways can you make yourself feel significant?

A few ways I feel significant in life are through my family and friends. I think that is a HUGE place where I feel most significant and secure. I am also significant to myself because I am strong, smart and capable. I know I have plenty to offer. A person must know themselves before they can truly know anyone else. Being true to yourself and feeling significant to yourself is as important as being authentically true to you, as well. To tell you the truth being significant, true and authentic all intertwine. You can't be one without the other, at least that is what I believe. What do you believe?

Take a moment, think about where you are significant in your life. Think of the ways that make you most feel secure and know that this is where you are and where you should be. Tell yourself all the positive things you can think of about you. Think of why your family loves you, why your friends confide in you and why you ARE strong, smart and capable too. Know that it is okay to have those negative feelings too, like feelings of doubt, sadness, and fear. We aren't robots and you can't be happy everyday of your life, but you can learn to recognize your significance in this world and what you bring to the table.

Be significant. Love who you were, who you are today and who you will be evolving to. and know, that the journey to getting to your future self takes but one step forward.

A little shy, I think...

As I sit in a room full of people, strangers, actually. I shrink down into my chair, hoping no one notices me, but interested in listening to what is going on around me. I look up and smile, hoping I will just blend into the background. A few people around me are starting to say some pleasant hellos, and I smile and say hello back. I start to sweat a little and my heart starts to race as more and more people say hello. I look up and then sort of look away quickly. I'm not good at looking people I don't know very well, in the eye. I feel uncomfortable, like they can see inside my soul if I let them and I don't like to feel that open to people who don't know me.

If you can believe it, yes, that is me in a crowd of people. I am not an introverted person, I am just shy. Though introversion and shyness overlap one another. You see: Introverts don't mind being alone, they aren't bothered by social situations, where shyness is a form of anxiety characterized by inhibited behavior. It also implies a fear of social judgment that can be crippling. (A little information I read in an article in Time Magazine, The Power of (Shyness) by Bryan Walsh. Thank you Bryan!)

So even though I may look like I am cool as a cucumber in social situations (don't I?), I am usually... Okay, well, I am almost always faking it. So now you know my little secret. I think as I have aged, I have become more and more shy, self conscious, and also get anxiety when it comes to meeting new people. My first thoughts are vain and superficial: Will they think I am pretty or ugly? Will they see my flaws on my face when they are looking at me? Do I have anything on my face, up my nose, in my eyes, or in my teeth? Do I have bad breath? Then I worry about: Will I say the wrong things to them and make them not want to talk to me? What if I say something dumb? and the list goes on... Yes, those are the things I think about when I talk to people I don't know, and sometimes, even when I talk to people I do know. Silly, yes, I KNOW...

But there are ways I get through some awkward feelings, such as, giving myself a pep talk like Stuart Smalley from Saturday Night Live, "YOU are good enough, you are smart enough, and doggone it - People like you!!!" - what? You don't know who Stuart Smalley is? He's like the coach of all coaches - HA HA HA Just kidding... Seriously though, I have made some personal goals for myself to overcome those feelings of angst. I take time out to breathe, I take a quick moment to think of a positive perspective, another way I get through is to put a smile on my face, and know that no matter what, that usually always helps. Like a picture, a smile is worth a thousand words.

Do you ever have times when you may not feel confident? What ways do you get through those moments?

When you overcome obstacles in your life, whether big or small they help to shape you and make you a better person inside and out. What obstacles can you put on your priority list to overcome?

Multi-Millionaire...

Photo taken by me...




I was hoping, while I was writing this, that I would be a multi-millionaire. Unfortunately, my plan did not turn out to be that way. So I am hoping to hit a hole in one the first day I hit the links with my new (only been used 2 times) golf clubs. I mean, the odds are clearly in my favor to hit a hole in one, right? Since I didn't win the Mega Millions, I know I can at least hit a hole in one. Hey, maybe even get struck by lightening while I am hitting the ball with my golf club. Now that would be pretty intense.

I think the best part of yesterday, was not only dreaming about what I would do with all that money, but to see the smile on everyone's faces when they were buying the tickets. To see the joy they got for those few seconds, dreaming of winning all that money. I have to say, when I went in to buy my ticket I was smiling ear to ear after all, I picked out my own numbers and I thought for once in my life I was psychic. And for those few seconds, I truly believed I was. (Okay, I thought I was psychic for more than a few seconds, but really, who's counting anyways?)

The joy of believing you could possibly be a multi-millionaire is truly incredible. What are some of the ways you would spend your money? What would you do first?

Honestly, I think the best part of the lottery is the dreaming of what you would do with all that money. The planning in your head, the wonderful thoughts of taking care of your family and friends, the dream of buying land and building a new house, the dream of being a professional Philanthropist, of building schools in Africa, like Oprah, or bringing in clean water to places that don't have clean water, traveling the world and trying to make it a better place. O, the possibilities!

Isn't dreaming a wonderful thing?

What is life without dreaming about the "What ifs"? Sometimes the "what ifs" are what keep us going, to see what the future will hold for us. But my "what ifs" are not the past "what ifs", but the future "what ifs". We can't change the past, we can only move forward and learn from it and decide to make changes so that the days ahead will have the outcome of what you dream of.

Think about your "what ifs", make a list, a drawing or a vision board. Dream big. You never know what will happen.

CORRECTION... To My "Lucky" Post

My mother's family came from Skibbereen, County of Cork (West Cork), Ireland... Thank you to my sister-in-law for correcting me!!! ;) You are the BEST!

Lucky...

Photo by ME! of my boy's shamrock plant.

You know that saying, "The Luck of the Irish"? If you can believe it, yes, I am Irish... Ok, so, I am 30% Irish... You see, my mother is 100% Irish (her parents are from this little city called Cork, yes, in Ireland). My father is 50% Portuguese (from these tiny islands, the Azores) and 50% French Canadian (you know, that place above and attached to us and is called Canada - and when I say us, I mean the people who live in New England, but if you were my brother and his wife in Alaska, it would be more like that country attached and East of us)... So, that technically makes me 30% Irish, 10% Portuguese, 10% French Canadian and Ok, Ok, 50% Korean (you know, that cute Asian country South of North Korea, Westish of Japan and South Eastish of parts of China), if I got any of the locations wrong, I apologize - after all, I received my degree in Geography - but, I never really listened in class. ;)

Well, that makes me lucky enough to have "The Luck of the Irish". Don't believe me still? Awwww, that's ok. It's not really what you believe anyways, it is what I believe.

I do believe I am lucky. I am lucky because I was born. I am lucky because a family in America wanted me to be a part of their family. I am lucky because I was brought up by two loving, accepting, understanding, not too strict parents. I am lucky because I have four incredible brothers who helped shape me to be tough but sweet, smart but sassy, strong but dainty, and brave but sensitive. I am lucky for believing that blood is not thicker than water. And though the shape of my eyes may be different from my family, my heart is still the same.

But yet, I also believe it is not luck that got me here. It is just how it is supposed to be. What's luck got to do with it, anyway? No, I didn't say, What's LOVE got to do with it, I said LUCK... and as I had said before, it is all what you believe.

So let me ask you, What are your thoughts on Luck? Do you believe being lucky just happens? or do you believe that the choices we made were predestined? Which means, our choices really weren't ours at all.

Is this getting too deep? Because really, that is not what I am trying to do. I just want you to think about your life, why you may feel "lucky" or why you may feel that "bad luck" follows you wherever you go. Try to think about which glass you have, the half full, or half empty glass... That will determine your positive/pessimistic radar. Why, you ask? Because little by little you can make changes to your luck, just by the choices you make. Yup, I said it and I am probably totally confusing you, which I think I am confusing myself a little in the process too.

Ok, so let me explain. If you want to be more positive, have better "luck" how about training your brain to think about happier more positive outcomes. You can do it. It is possible. What is great about thinking positively, is that it is scientifically better for your health then thinking negatively. Okay, so I think I just made that part up. But there is no harm in being happy, is there?

So my homework for you today is - smile, when your face doesn't feel like smiling. Laugh, when maybe you want to cry. Say a kind word to a stranger, you never know the difference that may make to that person. And when you just want to cower in a corner alone, pick yourself up, realize you will never have another day like this one and move forward with your head held high.

Also, it helps in believing in yourself, as well. Happiness and your luck come from within, choose to be positive. Use your strength to make a difference in your life.

By the way, I am choosing to buy a ticket for the Mega Millions drawing on Friday, I am thinking positively and I am feeling pretty lucky, Just sayin'...

Blog about nothing...

Not sure what to write tonight. Remember when I said, back in my very first blog that some of them may be like a Jerry Seinfeld episode - about nothing... Well, I think this is one of them.

I absolutely LOVE writing, I absolutely love the art of writing. You see, I can't draw (except for stick figures). I can't paint (Thank you Paula, for that beautiful day you took us out to a cove in Gloucester to teach - you are a great teacher, I am just a horrible painter - but I tried, right?!). I can't sing (though, trust me, in the car, when I am all alone, I am a ROCK STAR!!!). I am not a very good dancer, either (but give me a few drinks, and I am like dancing with the stars and yes, to me, I am a star ;). So writing is MY thing. I love to do it, not sure if I am good at it, but I sure do love to put my thoughts down on paper (type it on a computer). It makes me feel like I have a talent in something.

When I was younger I had tons of journals, I could write in them all day long, but usually I would write in them right before I went to bed. I honestly think I had about 20+ notebooks of just page after page of my thoughts. When I went away to college my mother "cleaned" out my draw with my journals in them, and I never saw them again. I was heart broken.

At the time, I never thought those notebooks would amount to much, and I am sure they wouldn't have, but that was the start of my love for writing. Just being able to write down my thoughts each day. It made me feel like I was able to live that day over, of how I felt and reflect back on things I may have missed had I not taken the time to write them down.

Don't you wish you could, like a book, turn back pages and reflect on past chapters of your life? To me, that is what writing does.

What helps you reflect on life? What place do you have to go to, whether it be in front of a canvas, behind a microphone or sitting on your couch, to find yourself and reflect?