Silence and reflection...

Photo taken by my husband




What is silence to you?

Silence can be a sign of reflection.  So in the few days I was not posting, I was reflecting.  Reflecting on my new adventures and future conquests.  I was also reflecting on how lucky I am to have so many wonderful, loving and supportive people in my life.  I am truly truly blessed.  I believe that letting yourself be silent and reflective can help to put your life into perspective.  Being thankful for all the little things that you may not notice everyday and realizing that they do make a big difference.

How do you reflect on your life?

Silence can also be a sign of many other things not just reflection.  Silence can be a sign of thoughtfulness.  Sometimes when I need to think about something, I need total silence, to truly "hear" myself think.  Silence can be a sign of restraint.  Being able to restrain yourself from saying something you may not mean or may not be appropriate at the time, can mean a whole heck of a lot more to someone rather than yelling or giving unwanted advice.  Silence can be a sign of gratitude.  You may not always have to say anything to show your love or appreciation for someone or something.  A smile may say everything you want and need to say.  Silence can be a sign of reverence.  Plain and simple...


It took me a long time to silence my own busy brain.  My head was always full of a lot of chatter... Either telling myself I wasn't good enough, or that I wasn't worthy of being truly valued and loved.  It was chatter in my brain that needed to be shut off.  To be silenced.  After all these years I finally realized I do, in fact, have value.  Growing up, my parents believed in me, my brothers believed in me, my friends too...  But I didn't believe in myself.  After quieting those demons in my head, I am at peace with all my imperfections and know, there is no such thing as ultimate perfection, only personal perfection...


Take some time out to be silent.  Let yourself be in that feeling of quiet and reflection.  Think about what makes you the incredible person you are today.  Because you ARE incredible.  Remember the only person on this earth that will truly give you any props is YOU.  So, take care of yourself, let yourself be silent, let yourself listen to the inner SMART you.  Don't listen to the chatter.

Take in the silence, drink it up and enjoy it, even if it is just for a moment!

Growing up doesn't mean growing "old"....

Photo taken by my husband





Do we really have to "grow up"?

I seem to be asking myself that question a lot lately, because I am not sure I really want to grow up.  It isn't about looking physically young for me, but don't get me wrong if I could look young for the rest of my life, I'd take it.  I'd take it and flaunt it!  Okay, Okay, I wouldn't flaunt it     -      too much... ;)  It is more about feeling young on the inside and being absolutely silly, crazy and a little immature on the outside.

Today, I realize, I am not a person who is ready to grow up.  I'm just happy being young at heart.  I love being silly, I love laughing at myself, and at myself with other people.  Taking life too seriously to me is like drinking black Starbucks coffee - way too strong, has a bite to it, and missing the needed sweetener and cream to lighten it up.  Sometimes, don't you just want to tell people to "lighten up"?

Don't get me wrong now, I am serious, when I need to be serious; thoughtful, when I need to be thoughtful; and a parent, when I need to be a parent.  I am no push over though, okay, maybe just a little bit.  I am just happy to be on this earth, living and breathing.  The sun is my power outlet, I recharge myself in the rays so that I can keep on going kind of like the Energizer Bunny, only I'm not pink, and I don't have built in wheels on my feet but that would be pretty awesome if I did!

Isn't there enough negativity and misery in this world?  Why feed into that?  I don't want to wake up tomorrow with a miserable frown on my face (because it's more of a bewildered - confused look with really messy hair), I want to take on the day with a happy, free, young spirit.  I want to keep the innocence of my youth, the purity of a new fresh day, and the virtue of child.  Growing up doesn't have to mean growing miserable, becoming jaded, or being hardened by the years of knowledge.

Keeping a young spirit means keeping your soul alive.  Alive to learn new things and being able to laugh at the silliness of it all.  Realizing that bad things do happen, but trying to see the positive hiding deep within the negative.  Being thankful for all that you do have, and only wanting for what you truly need.

If tomorrow you wake up with a frown on your face, splash cold water on it like your putting out a fire and look in the mirror and say, "Damn, You look HOTTT!" if that doesn't make you smile just a little, then call me I'm good at starting fires! ;)

What are some ways you can feel young and silly? You don't have to run around a mall dancing behind unsuspecting people to do it, it can be as little as making a funny face at a young child you walk past.  What's stopping you from letting go?  Be like Nike and JUST DO IT!

Personal Power...

Photo from Clip art








How do you define Personal Power?

I was awoken by this question (well, not literally woken up, but figuratively awoken).

Obviously, there is no right or wrong answer to this.   So, after thinking long and hard on how I would define Personal Power, I came up with this answer:  Not knowing who I am, but realizing it's okay to keep learning and understanding myself.  We as humans are ever growing, shifting, changing, etc.  And so Personal Power is acknowledging you are forever learning about yourself, and being open to that knowledge.  Power is Learning and the Knowledge you gain from that insight is truly profound.

Though Personal Power could come from anything, Personal Power may change...  It could be knowing your flaws and loving yourself despite them.  Realizing under the messy hair, frumpy clothes, and responsibilities you truly are a Super Hero to your family.  Knowing that you don't need kids, a husband/wife, tons of money, your stuff together or anything like that to define who you are as a person.  Or even:  Loving the person you are today and know that you don't have to be accountable to anyone but yourself.

What are your thoughts on this topic?  How would you define Personal Power?

Think about those questions.  Let them sink in.  You don't even need to answer them, they may be good just to keep in the back of your mind when figuring out how you are today.

Bring Power to your life by learning something new each day.

Learning to breathe...

Photo from Clip art






Take a deep breath in...
Let it out...
Take another deep breath in...
Let it out...


I find myself doing that more often than not lately.  It's such a great and easy way to relieve stress, a great way to really breathe in positive energy and a great way to help put your body and mind in a new place.  So quick, so easy, and so refreshing.

Breathing regenerates the body.  Without it, we wouldn't be alive, would we?

Take a deep breath in...
Let it out...

Woooooo... I feel good.  Though, it doesn't work miracles.  Breathing, when you pay attention to it, can even help put your mind in a whole new perspective.  Breathe in that new fresh perspective, exhale that old stale one.

Today was a breathe worthy day.  If you were where I was today, you would have found yourself breathing in and out a lot, and hoping you would make yourself pass out.  Or at least that is how I felt.  I didn't really want to be in the moments of my day, at some points I felt good, but others, well, I was breathing.  Though, you should want to be in each and every moment as much as you can, today was just not that day.

Take a deep breath in...
Let it out...

I am still in that breathing pattern.  I'm still trying to let the fresh air expand my lungs and fill them with positive energy.  While exhaling out the heavy, weighted feelings.

Learning to breathe is so important.  And, though we all know how to breathe, we don't all know how to breathe.  It took me years to learn to really breathe.  When I was young, I played sports I was taught to breathe in through my nose and out through my mouth to help with cramps when running track, lifting weights or laps for field hockey.  When I got a little older, I breathed smoke into my lungs to be cool, (GROSS habit, I don't do it anymore, but I did enjoy it at the time) long slow drags.  When I was pregnant, I learned how to do the Lamaze breathing - slow, steady and soothing to relieve the pain of childbirth.  When my children were born and I became a parent, I learned that I must breathe and walk away before yelling at my children.  Now, I am learning to use breathing not only as a life sustain-er, cramp helper, NO SMOKING/lung healer, pain soother, and an anger manager, but now as a regenerating, new perspective making and life enhancing tool.

O yes, it took me almost 36 years to realize, there are more reasons for breathing, then just to keep me alive, though, that reason in itself should be the main reason for breathing, it is not the only reason we breathe.

Take a deep breath in...
Let it out...

Being present...

Photo taken by AliceKKT (http://alicekkt.deviantart.com/)






What is being present?  How does it look to you?

Being present means being totally in that moment - physically, emotionally and in connection with, whatever that moment may be.

Have you ever had those times when you are just not in the moment?  There are many times where I am physically somewhere, but my head is just not.  I am the consummate daydreamer.  I find, sometimes, when I read, I will be reading the words, but not always reading the words.  I am not connecting with what I am reading, so I have to read some sentences over once, twice, even three times.

I have been at dinner with friends, we are all in a conversation and though I am looking at the person who is talking, I am usually watching them, their expressions, looking at the others to see how they are reacting but not really listening to their words.  I am physically in that moment, yet I am not always 100% present in it.

You can be physically present somewhere, but emotionally you can be in another world.  

I have a few tricks that I now use when I know that my mind may be wandering when I am in a situation.  Some of the following tricks I use have helped me to truly be present.  I have listed below some examples of ways I stay present in a social situation:

1.  Scan the room ahead of time so I don't feel like I am missing anything around me.  I have found that my attention is easily diverted to other things if I haven't noticed them before, but by seeing what is around me, I will be more apt to pay closer attention to what I need to pay attention to.

2.  Make eye contact with the person speaking.  To show my attentiveness to that person, and then to remind myself that that person is the one to pay attention to.

3.  Listen.  Block out all the noise around me.

4.  Look at the others in the group as a way to engage them while listening.

5.  Speak up.  Every once in a while I will nod, or make acknowledgments to the person, or even ask questions (not too many questions, I don't want to be annoying, after all...) - only a few short questions are good to ask, just to be more curious and to learn more information.

6.  And last but not least...  Be there in complete and utter presence in that moment.  Daydreaming can wait, missing out on an important conversation can't.

I realize that there are times I may not always be truly present in all situations, but as long as I can recognize those times when I am off in space, I can always talk myself back down to earth.  Recognition is the key to knowing when you are there in that moment or not.

What ways can you stay present in a situation?  How can you train your brain to be 100% in it?

Make the most of the situations around you.  Don't let time, a good conversation, or a good laugh pass you by.  Enjoy the moments, the connections, and just being present.

A smile a day...

Marilyn Monroe a/k/a Norma Jeane Mortenson Baker



Ya know that saying, "an apple a day, keeps the doctor away"?  How about, a genuine happy smile can keep the negativity away.  I believe when you smile it makes life that much better.  Smiling at a stranger, makes you feel better, even if they don't smile back.  At least, when I smile at people, it makes me feel better.  It is a subtle way of spreading joy on.  There are not many things in this world that you want to spread to others, but joy and happiness are two things that are easily spreadable and ultimately positive.

A smile can brighten up a room, a smile can change a whole person's demeanor, a smile can win hearts and sometimes change minds.  Smiles are powerful.

I have become so self conscious of my smile and feel like it is truly embarrassing to smile with my whole mouth.   Now, I either cover my mouth, smile with my mouth closed, or both.  At the beginning I tried to do the red carpet "sly smile", you know that smile that they do with their lips pursed together like Sylvester - the Pooty Tat and looking out to the cameras like they have Tweety bird in their mouths - Yeah, that wasn't me and I looked really silly doing it.  I went back to smiling with my whole mouth (to see if I got over the ugliness of my braces)  - showing all of my hardware - I realized, that only scared the children and myself!  So, then I tried the shy smile like a Geisha (with my hand in front of my face, which is what I did before my braces, at times), that makes me look like a repressed Asian woman with no confidence.  Bingo!  I found my smile...  It works well.

A smile says a lot about a person.  Whether they are confident, pretending to be confident, shy, ready to take on the world, happy, sad - yes a smile can show sadness as well, a smile can also show hardships, it can show a life lived, it can brighten someones day, or make someone afraid, you can smile to persuade someone, or to make someone feel comfortable.  A smile truly is worth a thousand (million) words!

What ways can you make the most of your smile?

A smile is a donation from the heart, use it whenever you think it is appropriate and where it will make a difference.  It costs nothing to smile at others.

Look out World... By December 2012, these braces are coming off and you won't be able to wipe this free donation off my face! ;)

Be accountable...

What makes you accountable?

Remember my "Challenges" blog?  Well, lets just say, I haven't followed through with them.  Okay, with 2 of them, I haven't followed through with 2 of them.  There, I said it!  The only one I stuck with was the half-hour of exercise a day.  So now I realize - it is time to get serious and make myself accountable.

It is one thing to give yourself challenges to do, it is another thing to stick with them and make yourself accountable to follow through on the challenges.  When I made those challenges, I don't think I was truly being serious about them.  I thought I could give myself 3 challenges and then I assumed I would do them (remember what happens when you assume?!?!  Exactly).  That, right there, was my first mistake.

So now it is time to make myself accountable to myself.  It is hard to make yourself accountable to yourself when really, you are the only one who will know anyways, right? WRONG.  YOU are your worst critic, YOU are the one that beats yourself up the most, YOU are the only voice you truly listen to in the end.  So here is my plan of action on being accountable and following through:

1. Start off slow (just like I said in my "Challenges" blog - insect steps)...  3 challenges all at once was a little overwhelming (for me), so I have cut it down to 2 challenges: 1. half-hour of exercise a day; and 2. cooking for my family 4 times per week.
2. Each week write up an exercise/dinner plan ahead of time, such as, Monday - stair climb at 8:30pm/make pasta w/veggies, Tuesday - Boot camp at 6am/make chicken w/ rice, Wednesday - jog lake w/daughter - no time specific/make fish w/ veggies.  etc.  (you get my point)...
3. Check off each day that is accomplished.
4. Give myself an incentive for the end of the week (If all challenges are met by Sunday - add $10 to the 3 Month Challenge Jar - what's a challenge jar - its the jar that will hold the money that I accumulate for accomplishing my weekly challenges so at the end of my challenge date I can buy myself something good - something I usually don't or can't splurge on - like a pedicure or manicure or both!!!).

By doing this it will make me feel more accountable to myself.  You should try it too, tell me if it works for you.  I will keep you posted on my challenges too!

I do feel that I am accountable to mostly everyone like, my family, my friends, my work, Scott (my boot camp instructor), and now - Myself!  Being accountable is so important.  It makes you feel like you are doing something for a reason and that you have someone that is counting on you to do it.  Letting that person down, even if it is yourself, is out of the question.

Set little goals and be accountable to finish them.  Sometimes it isn't always easy, but knowing you are doing something for yourself may be helpful.

Take this challenge, be accountable to yourself and see how you feel.  Know that nothing is worth doing unless it is something that challenges you anyway.  We would all do the easy stuff all the time if we could, but what's the point in that?  No pain, no gain - right?

Don't give up... Don't give in...

Photo taken by me






There have been days where I just want to give up.  Days that I think, "wow, I just can't do that, that is way too hard for me to do".  Have you had one of those days?  When you just want to throw in the towel and crawl into bed?

Well, Don't!  I mean it.  Don't give up.  Even if you think it would be easier burying your head under the covers.  Don't just give in.  What is the point of even starting anything if you don't finish it?

I signed up for a boot camp class every Tuesday and Thursday mornings for 6 weeks.  I couldn't make it to the first one, do to a procedure I had, but was there that following Thursday, up and ready to go for the 6am start time.  (Did I mention I am not an early morning person?)   So to me, a 5:20am alarm clock blaring in my ears is like the equivalent of sticking pins in my eyes (well not really, but you know what I mean).   The next week, Tuesday came and I was up and ready to go. Okay, so I wasn't up and ready, it was more like, I was laying in bed talking to myself and saying, "Do I really want to go? Yes, Get up.  Really?  My bed is so warm.  Yes, it is, but Get up!  I'm happy in my bed".  Well, I did finally drag myself out of bed to go and was happy when I got home.  Happy that I didn't give in to myself.

The next week was a battle.  My son had been sick, I was hardly sleeping and I had to be up to go to boot camp, I got up Tuesday of that week, but not Thursday.  It happened again the week after, I got up Tuesday, but stayed in bed Thursday.  What was I doing?  I paid for this, I had to get up.  Not to mention, I know the boot camp instructor and he sent me a message on Facebook asking where I have been?  Wow, did I feel like a loser!  I can hear you now, "Really Alyssa?  Really?  You can't even make it to a boot camp class that is only 2 days a week?  You are pathetic".  And yes, I deserve that!

So here is my point,  get up, when you don't want to.  Realize that giving up and giving in are not options. They are more like a last resort.

Your reason for staying in bed could be much more different than mine, but trust me, no matter what the reason, you should get up.  Face the world with a Can Do attitude!  Make the most of every minute you have.  And when all else fails remember, every minute you spend telling yourself not to do something, is a minute wasted on things you could be doing for yourself that mean a lot.

Don't Give Up and Don't Give In!  Push yourself to be the best for yourself, for your family, for the world.  What's stopping you?!?!

Inspiration

Photo taken by my daughter...








What inspires you? What makes you get up out of bed every morning?

The obvious answer to that for me are my children, of course.  But then, there is little on this earth that doesn't inspire me.  Inspiration can come from the wonderful smell of chocolate chip cookies baking in the oven that bring you back to your childhood or how the clouds are shaped in the sky as the suns rays shine through onto the earth.  Inspiration can come from a sound, a touch, a taste, or just a feeling within.

My daughter sent me a text the other day with a picture of 3 quizzes/tests.  They were overlapping each other just showing each grade she received on each paper.  The first grade was an 87, then an 86.5 then a 90 with a message that said "3 good French grades in a row!!!! :D".   I was so happy for her since she was having such a hard time in French class, feeling like she just couldn't do well.  She told me her inspiration to do well in French class was thinking about someday being able to study abroad in France.  So, if she does well now, she may be able to go there and travel.  I told her, with that determination,  inspiration, and drive she could totally achieve that goal and more!   Because of her hard work and dedication to studying and wanting more for herself truly inspired me to work harder in  my own life and things that I have had a hard time with.

What is going on in your life that may not be going as planned or as you were hoping it would?  It could be anything, from your relationship with a friend, to developing and finishing a work project...  If you are struggling with something in your life think about something that inspires you.  Take a walk in the fresh air, take a jog or a yoga class to clear your mind, go to a spa for a little pampering (yes, men, you can go there too).  Find what inspires you, then awaken your senses, tie it into whatever you may be struggling with and brainstorm ideas for making positive things happen.

Don't you just love that feeling when you are inspired by something?  It's that eyes widening, smile growing feeling that makes you truly believe - anything is possible.

Don't we all need a little inspiration?

Life Purpose...

Have you ever thought of your Life Purpose?  I know that may sound a little broad and overwhelming, but have you even thought about it?  If your answer is no, let me explain.

When I talk about life purpose I am not necessarily talking about the future or what you "think" your life purpose is for all time.  I am talking about today. Today, what is your life purpose?

My life purpose today is:  I am the Berlin Wall, that is strong, confident and powerful, and that has been broken down to open up the other side of me that is sensitive, caring and loving.   (I am - that object/metaphor, that is - the action/powerful words.)

Today, that is me, and it may be me, tomorrow, and it had been me, yesterday.  But that life purpose can change.  Just like us, we are ever changing and evolving to survive within our universe.  As I said, it is okay to change, great even!   And it is okay to let others change too.  If we were to stay the same for the rest of our lives we probably wouldn't survive well in life.  As Charles Darwin  believed, species adapt, change, and evolve by natural selection.  If we didn't evolve, adapt and change we would be extinct.  Right?

It is important to have a life purpose today, and it is okay to change it tomorrow. We have no guarantees to life, that is why we must live happily and positively today.  (But whatever you do, don't go off living today like it is your last day on earth like spending money, quitting your job, and doing crazy things - that will just leave you broke, jobless and miserable.)  What I mean is, tell the people you love that you love them, smile at strangers, say hello to the person in the elevator with you, drop a penny in a wishing well, and make a silly wish, breathe in the fresh air, feel the cold wind on your face, or the warm sunshine.

Find your life purpose today, it can be as silly as, I am the pillow in my bed, that has decided to lay comfortably and protectively upon my sheets... HAHAHA...  (I kind of like that.  Wink Wink.)  Take a moment in the morning while you get ready for work, or after you take a shower, or when you are brushing your teeth, think about what your life purpose for the day may be...  And if you need help trying to find your life purpose I am here to help you on the journey, you are always welcome to contact me, email me, comment, etc.

There are endless possibilities to life purpose, just as their are endless possibilities to you.

Challenge...

Photo taken by me :)




What challenges you?

Have you ever really thought of that question and truly answered it? Why not take a moment and think it over, really think about some of the things that challenge you. (PAUSE) Did you think about it? What answers did you come up with?

I have thought about that question long and hard, that's probably why I am writing about it. I realize I don't give myself enough challenges to follow through with. I also realized, any challenge that I have given myself, I usually give up on before ever truly finishing what I started. So here I am, deciding on new challenges for myself. Really making sure that these challenges are attainable and that I am able to conquer them.

So, I want to start off small, setting myself up for a win and not a fail, knowing that if I set the challenges too high, I may not reach them. My first challenge is to exercise at least once a day, 30 minutes a day, for 3 months. My second is to figure out why I keep getting hives (in this challenge what I really need to do is take the time out to write down what I eat each day, keep a food diary, and then eventually take out certain foods one by one and then reintroduce myself to them). And my final challenge is to cook dinner at home for my family at least 4 times a week, if not more. My husband would want me to cook more, I, on the other hand would like to either eat out every night, or hire a chef. Since both of those ideas are out of our budget, and really totally out of the question, I am just going to have to challenge myself to cook.

I have chosen 3 challenges and give myself 3 months to stick with these challenges, and since they (whoever they are) say that habits form within 2 weeks, I figure, 3 months should be a somewhat sufficient time frame to build habits in my life. Like I said, I am starting off small and am working my way up to bigger challenges eventually. You have to start somewhere, right? Insect steps, insect steps - teeny tiny little steps turning you in the right direction!

Now, since I am challenging myself to do 3 things, what about you? Will you take this challenge with me? Do something you don't necessarily want to do, but challenge yourself to do it?

Challenges are a way to push you and make you stronger. Don't you want to be strong in your personal and professional life?

Challenge yourself to make a difference in your life, whether big or small. A difference doesn't mean you have to cure world hunger, or stop North Korea from building nuclear weapons, (although, if you could challenge yourself to do something about those 2 things, that wouldn't be too bad). But making a difference by challenging yourself in your own life will make a difference in others lives as well.

Think about it, is there a mountain too high that you can't challenge yourself to conquer?! If the answer is NO, and I hope it is... Then DO IT!!! Climb that mountain of challenges, start off on a small mountain and work your way up to Mt. Kilimanjaro or Mt. Everest of challenges. If I can work on doing it, so can't you!

Appreciation...

Photo taken by my husband



Looking out on the morning rain...
I used to feel uninspired...
and when I knew I had to face another day...
Lord, it made me feel so tired...
Before the day I met you, life was so unkind, but you're the key to my peace of mind...

O! Hello! Sorry about that, I was singing to myself. (Better to myself then out loud - that's what my family would probably say... HA!!!) Don't you just love that song? Natural Woman by the Queen of Soul herself, Aretha Franklin. She is SOOOO good! If only I could sing like her.........

'Cause, YOU make me feel, YOU make me feel, YOU make me feel like a natural woman...

Whoops, I think that was out loud... Okay, getting back to writing, I didn't even realize you were here already... I was just singing away, happy to be in my own little world, but there you were, showing up out of nowhere. Thank you for that!

I want to say how much I truly appreciate you being here, reading this, and hopefully, maybe, possibly - liking it?!?! I am having such a great time writing my thoughts and opening up my world to you. Opening up my thoughts to you. And being the one thing I didn't really want to be... Vulnerable. It truly is fantastic.

You see, sometimes you need to open yourself up to new adventures in life to truly appreciate living. Wouldn't it be boring to wake up every day doing the same thing, over and over again? So why do it?

What can you do to open yourself up more?

It doesn't have to be a big something, you can start off by taking insect steps. (I say insect steps instead of baby steps, because insects are even teeny tinier steps. So taking those teeny tiny steps, especially if you aren't truly ready to take a step at all, will help to just turn you in the right direction.) It doesn't have to take much thought, and you don't have to make a huge decision right away, but something small everyday will help you get to something big eventually.

Take that insect step... Slowly. Or you can be like me and just dive right into something new regardless if the waters are shark or piranha infested. Hey, I made sure I could swim first. Grab your life vest. Come along for the ride. I dare you to do something new!!!

Beautiful...

Aren't we all beautiful in our own unique way?

When I was watching the Today Show this morning there was a British woman who wrote an article about being "too beautiful". I watched the news story and then, of course I had to read the actual article for myself. After reading the article I truly believed at the end of it the woman (Samantha Brick) would have wrote, "April Fools" or "this was just for an experiment - blah blah blah"... Or something, to that effect. Boy, was I wrong on that. To my surprise and confusion (yes, I was a bit confused), I realized she was serious with all the things she said about herself.

While I applaud her for her courage and her self-esteem (clap clap clap), I think the article shows, not that she is beautiful on the outside or inside, but that she is conceded and wants to proclaim out loud how wonderful and beautiful she "thinks" she is. And I noticed, she seemed to want to validate herself by giving the audience (us) reasons why she believes she is so beautiful and that everyone (every woman, I mean) that meets her is so unbelievably jealous of her.

I found that article a bit sad. I felt sorry for her to have to write that about herself. To have to tell the world that she feels slighted by other women, that she needs us to see how persecuted she is. The fact that she has such negative feelings toward other women and always feeling that they are jealous of her makes me want to give her a hug and tell her, "we aren't jealous of you, you may just have a really crappy personality, but let me get to know you and then I will tell you the reasons why women may shun you from their social circles". Well, I wouldn't quite say it like that, but you have to wonder why she feels like she is on a pedestal while everyone else is below her.

She seemed like a lonely soul with her only ally being her husband. I believe in having friends, women friends, of all shapes, sizes, ethnic backgrounds, age, hair color, etc. I think all of my friends and female family members are beautiful. All women are beautiful regardless of the little "imperfections" we ALL have.

What is life without your girls to back you up? What is life without your "sisters" new and old? What is life without the giggles, the girl talks and the Girls Only get away's? I just wouldn't survive without my girl friends and all the women in my life (especially My mom!!!! and My daughter!!!). With their love and support I know I can do anything in this life. I love my guys too! O, I LOVE MY GUYS! My guy friends and the men in my life! And trust me, I would NEVER be jealous of my beautiful girl friends being around my husband, and I know my girl friends would never be jealous of me being around their other halves.

Women should be protective, loving and understanding to one another, not envious or jealous to the point where they are mean to each other. Don't get me wrong, I am SOOOO envious of all my friends for different reasons, because they are incredible, strong, independent and beautiful women, who wouldn't be jealous of them?!?! But I am not threatened by them, I am not threatened by anyone. Sure there are people out there that feel threatened or sabotaged by others, but as Eleanor Roosevelt once famously said, No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. How true that statement is.

I am not going to berate Samantha Brick, as I do think she was brave for saying all that she had about herself. But I do believe there is no reason for anyone to write an article like that, and not think they will get back lash for it. After all, with every action, there is a reaction, no matter positive or negative...

Remember this my faithful readers... Beauty comes from the inside out, if you are toxic inside it will show on the outside. No hair dyes, face lifts, plastic surgeries can fix a black and tarnished heart. Be free of jealousy and envy and you will be amazed at how much the world opens up!

Looking back...

When I look back at my past, my childhood, my teenage years, my early adult life, I smile with happiness remembering the good times. Don't get me wrong I also have moments where I cringe remembering the times I would like to forget. But those good and bad times have helped shape us all into the people we are today. You need to make a few cringe worthy mistakes along the way during your lifetime to really learn and understand yourself.

Mistakes are meant to be made, they help us grow and understand ourselves and remind us that we aren't perfect, no matter how hard we try. (After all, being perfect is not all it's cracked up to be, really, I know. - wink wink.)

Have you ever done something and then a minute later thought, What the heck was I thinking? I can't take that back now, it's already done. There have been many times where I have thought that. And then afterwards realized, okay, I can't change what's been done, but I will make a mental note of not doing it again. Remember, as I said before, and as I am sure you already know, to every action there is a reaction and if the reaction is a negative one, then hopefully you have learned from it and know not to repeat the action.

What have you learned from the mistakes you have made? What life lessons do you live by, knowing what not to do?

I would like to think my mistakes have been made and that now I am just living my life. But no matter what, throughout our lives and until our heart stops beating and we take our last breath, we will make mistakes. It is inevitable. And it is okay to make them. We are human and humans are not perfect no matter how hard we try. Live your life knowing mistakes will be made but also knowing, just like all the other mistakes, you will get through it and learn from it and move forward.

Understand yourself and your limits, make a conscious effort to be the best person you can be. Know that not everyday will be sunshine and roses but choose to take each day - one day at a time and live it true to yourself and who you are, mistakes and all.

Are you Significant?

My thought of the day is significance. What is significant about being significant? A whole heck of a lot. You don't want to live your life being insignificant to yourself and to others, do you? I don't even want you to answer that, because you should already know what I would write.

The Merriam-Webster Dictionary definition for the word Significant is:
1. Having meaning; especially
2. Having or likely to have influence or effect.

Being significant to yourself is having meaning, importance and influence and knowing you have that power inside of you.

What ways can you make yourself feel significant?

A few ways I feel significant in life are through my family and friends. I think that is a HUGE place where I feel most significant and secure. I am also significant to myself because I am strong, smart and capable. I know I have plenty to offer. A person must know themselves before they can truly know anyone else. Being true to yourself and feeling significant to yourself is as important as being authentically true to you, as well. To tell you the truth being significant, true and authentic all intertwine. You can't be one without the other, at least that is what I believe. What do you believe?

Take a moment, think about where you are significant in your life. Think of the ways that make you most feel secure and know that this is where you are and where you should be. Tell yourself all the positive things you can think of about you. Think of why your family loves you, why your friends confide in you and why you ARE strong, smart and capable too. Know that it is okay to have those negative feelings too, like feelings of doubt, sadness, and fear. We aren't robots and you can't be happy everyday of your life, but you can learn to recognize your significance in this world and what you bring to the table.

Be significant. Love who you were, who you are today and who you will be evolving to. and know, that the journey to getting to your future self takes but one step forward.

A little shy, I think...

As I sit in a room full of people, strangers, actually. I shrink down into my chair, hoping no one notices me, but interested in listening to what is going on around me. I look up and smile, hoping I will just blend into the background. A few people around me are starting to say some pleasant hellos, and I smile and say hello back. I start to sweat a little and my heart starts to race as more and more people say hello. I look up and then sort of look away quickly. I'm not good at looking people I don't know very well, in the eye. I feel uncomfortable, like they can see inside my soul if I let them and I don't like to feel that open to people who don't know me.

If you can believe it, yes, that is me in a crowd of people. I am not an introverted person, I am just shy. Though introversion and shyness overlap one another. You see: Introverts don't mind being alone, they aren't bothered by social situations, where shyness is a form of anxiety characterized by inhibited behavior. It also implies a fear of social judgment that can be crippling. (A little information I read in an article in Time Magazine, The Power of (Shyness) by Bryan Walsh. Thank you Bryan!)

So even though I may look like I am cool as a cucumber in social situations (don't I?), I am usually... Okay, well, I am almost always faking it. So now you know my little secret. I think as I have aged, I have become more and more shy, self conscious, and also get anxiety when it comes to meeting new people. My first thoughts are vain and superficial: Will they think I am pretty or ugly? Will they see my flaws on my face when they are looking at me? Do I have anything on my face, up my nose, in my eyes, or in my teeth? Do I have bad breath? Then I worry about: Will I say the wrong things to them and make them not want to talk to me? What if I say something dumb? and the list goes on... Yes, those are the things I think about when I talk to people I don't know, and sometimes, even when I talk to people I do know. Silly, yes, I KNOW...

But there are ways I get through some awkward feelings, such as, giving myself a pep talk like Stuart Smalley from Saturday Night Live, "YOU are good enough, you are smart enough, and doggone it - People like you!!!" - what? You don't know who Stuart Smalley is? He's like the coach of all coaches - HA HA HA Just kidding... Seriously though, I have made some personal goals for myself to overcome those feelings of angst. I take time out to breathe, I take a quick moment to think of a positive perspective, another way I get through is to put a smile on my face, and know that no matter what, that usually always helps. Like a picture, a smile is worth a thousand words.

Do you ever have times when you may not feel confident? What ways do you get through those moments?

When you overcome obstacles in your life, whether big or small they help to shape you and make you a better person inside and out. What obstacles can you put on your priority list to overcome?