Being present...

Photo taken by AliceKKT (http://alicekkt.deviantart.com/)






What is being present?  How does it look to you?

Being present means being totally in that moment - physically, emotionally and in connection with, whatever that moment may be.

Have you ever had those times when you are just not in the moment?  There are many times where I am physically somewhere, but my head is just not.  I am the consummate daydreamer.  I find, sometimes, when I read, I will be reading the words, but not always reading the words.  I am not connecting with what I am reading, so I have to read some sentences over once, twice, even three times.

I have been at dinner with friends, we are all in a conversation and though I am looking at the person who is talking, I am usually watching them, their expressions, looking at the others to see how they are reacting but not really listening to their words.  I am physically in that moment, yet I am not always 100% present in it.

You can be physically present somewhere, but emotionally you can be in another world.  

I have a few tricks that I now use when I know that my mind may be wandering when I am in a situation.  Some of the following tricks I use have helped me to truly be present.  I have listed below some examples of ways I stay present in a social situation:

1.  Scan the room ahead of time so I don't feel like I am missing anything around me.  I have found that my attention is easily diverted to other things if I haven't noticed them before, but by seeing what is around me, I will be more apt to pay closer attention to what I need to pay attention to.

2.  Make eye contact with the person speaking.  To show my attentiveness to that person, and then to remind myself that that person is the one to pay attention to.

3.  Listen.  Block out all the noise around me.

4.  Look at the others in the group as a way to engage them while listening.

5.  Speak up.  Every once in a while I will nod, or make acknowledgments to the person, or even ask questions (not too many questions, I don't want to be annoying, after all...) - only a few short questions are good to ask, just to be more curious and to learn more information.

6.  And last but not least...  Be there in complete and utter presence in that moment.  Daydreaming can wait, missing out on an important conversation can't.

I realize that there are times I may not always be truly present in all situations, but as long as I can recognize those times when I am off in space, I can always talk myself back down to earth.  Recognition is the key to knowing when you are there in that moment or not.

What ways can you stay present in a situation?  How can you train your brain to be 100% in it?

Make the most of the situations around you.  Don't let time, a good conversation, or a good laugh pass you by.  Enjoy the moments, the connections, and just being present.